Shirayuki
by Suishou no kimi
Summary: “The first fall of snow is not only an event, it is a magical event” -- J. B. Priestley KaoruxOC
1. Prologue

_**August 27th...**_

I sighed. Sophomore year was boring. All of the 'Advanced Class' curriculum were the things I learned in 5th grade, or maybe earlier. I decided that it was best for me to start drawing in my Calculus BC notebook, seeing how drawing was the only way for me to ease boredom in this monotonous jail. I mean, even their catering system is the same as the ones in jail.

I sighed yet again. One of my friends, Renge Hoshakuji, hadn't sent any doujinshi lately, so I was out of anything to read. My Pineapple laptop was at home, my Creative ZEN was taken away, and even my phone was taken away. Heck, why can't they at least send me to the library or something to read? But no, they want me to be more social. How are people supposed to be social in class and pay attention at the same time? Oh, a paradox. Perfect.  
Being born a 'commoner' , my parents didn't have enough money to send me to the schools that had better programs, but I don't blame them for that. The economy is crappy and jobs are being lost and my parents are lucky enough to even have one, even if it does pay close to minimum wage.  
I pondered what the heck I could draw. I was decent at manga and I fail at perspective. I looked around the dull classroom. Everyone else was still taking their test. It wasn't that hard was it? I mean, it's the first test of the year; it's never that hard. I glanced at my watch, 5 more minutes until the the day is over! Thank God that my Calculus class was the last class I had. Even so, my schedule still sucked:

0 period: Advanced Orchestra  
1st period: Physical Education  
2nd: Physics Honors  
Brunch: Hang out time.  
3rd: Biology AP  
4th: History AP  
Lunch: Archery Club activities.  
5th: Literature  
6th: Calculus BC

The school let me take the most advanced courses that they had, but that was all they had to offer. Meh. I've already learned this stuff. I looked at my watch again. 1 more minute.... Everyone was packing now. All the tests were turned in, apparently, when I was looking at my crappy schedule. 25 seconds..... I swear. These school clocks are trying to drive me mentally insane. They tick a few seconds off. I told them to change it to GMT and the office staff replied with a smile and said, "Later, hun."  
Why does everyone call me 'hun'? I am not their husband or kid. Nor am I a descendant of Attila. Calling high schoolers pet names won't make them any less nervous at the beginning of the year. At least, not me. The bell rang. FINALLY. I dashed out of the class room and went to the office to reclaim my stolen goods that I bought with my own money, earned from winning science competitions. I plugged in my earphones and turned my ZEN on. _  
We're no strangers to love. You know the rules and so do I. A full commitment is what I'm thinking of. You wouldn't get this from any other guy.  
_I grinned. Rickroll'd. I checked my phone. Ah! Renge-chan sent me a message, _"Look in your mailbox when you get home! Ohohohohoho~! \(^o^)/ Then we can go MOE together desu!"_  
Oh god. I hope she didn't send me a graphic doujinshi.... .;; She did that once and my electronics AND microscope were taken away by my parents. D:

I started walking towards the pick-up/drop-off zone of my high school. I spotted my mom's red buggy and waved. I felt an impact on my shoulder. "PUNCH BUGGY RED!" screamed my friend, Tsuki.  
"It's my mom's car. You see it everyday. I don't think you can punch me for that..." I drolled in a monotone voice.  
"Spoilsport. You tell me to use Internet memes more but you prevent me from using this one. Did you have fun in class?" Tsuki said.  
"Punch Buggy isn't an Internet meme. 'How is babby formed' is though. And Hell no. I was dying of boredom in class."  
"Wow. Even the most advanced classes in this school are boring for you."  
"Yes. Oh. Dang. Talk to you later ok? Bye!" I dashed to my mom's weird car. I noticed that several pairs of eyes and their retinas were following me to the ridiculous car.  
"So, how was your day?" asked Kaa-san.  
"Meh. Monotonous."  
"Oh something came in the mail today, Shiroi. The address is in Japan! It must be from your friend Renge I guess. It says 'Ouran Academy' on it though. Here" she passed me the envelope. It looked exactly like the acceptance letters that colleges gave. I slowly teared open the envelope. There was a letter inside:

_Dear Shiroi Umehara,_

_One of our elite students has told us much about you and your great achievements. We would be honored if you enrolled at our exclusive Ouran High School as a scholarship student. You do not need to pay for the trip, lodging, or fees; all you have to do is maintain the highest score in your Mid-terms and Finals as well as following the school rules._

_Sincerely, Yuzura Suoh  
Chairman of Ouran Academy._

"HOLY FREAKING GOD! HALLELUJAH! KAA-SAN! I DON'T HAVE TO GO TO THIS DULL SCHOOL ANYMORE! I'VE BEEN ACCEPTED INTO OURAN! OURAN GAKUEN! THE MOST PRESTIGIOUS SCHOOL ANY COMMONER COULD EVER GET INTO! KYAAAAAAA!" I screamed.  
"I'm so proud of you Shiroi! My ancestors were also commoners in China and never got any good education. They would be so proud if they saw you now!" beamed my mother.  
I felt unbelievably happy. I wanted to jump on top of the car and scream, "HECK YEAH! I GOT ACCEPTED INTO OURAN!".

I wondered what was in store for me at this preppy school. I knew that I would be a 1st year in Ouran High since high schools in Japan started at 10th grade. It was definitely going to be good.


	2. Party

_**August 28th...**_

My mother decided that it was the GREATEST IDEA EVER to thow a "Goodbye and Good Luck" party. I hate parties. She knows that. As a matter of fact, she also invited all my close relatives and everyone in my class. And even better news: The party was at 7 a.m. until midnight. On a Saturday. I sleep in until 12 p.m. on Saturdays. According to Kaa-san, I wake up like a heinous witch. Perfect. She might as well make it a Halloween party so then I could fit in and terrorize anyone that bothered me. Apparently, I have to make a speech too. I sighed. This was going to make me _want_ fly away from California to Ouran instead of being all 'Waah, I'll miss you guys and cry my eyes out every day.'

Truth is, I probably will cry my eyes out. I was inevitably going to miss my friends and family. I was likely go on the Internet excessively just to see if any of my friends are online or call Kaa-san or To-san as soon as I got to my dorm. I might even call my brothers, Atsushi and Fumio, or my sister, Riko, even though they were annoying 85% of the time.

I was going to be across the Pacific Ocean from them in a week. I had plenty of time to pack my clothes, Haro, Pika-chan, my laptop, my mp3 player, my phone, and possibly my scientific tools, though probably not. They wouldn't make it past the luggage check because of the scalpels and other tools that would set off the metal detector. Oh well, it was going to be worth the try. I hoped that if I flashed the papers that stated that I had a Nobel Prize at them, they would let me bring my precious tools. If it weren't for them, I wouldn't have been able to achieve what I have in the field of science and help support my family with the prize money.

I sat on my bed, composing a speech on my laptop. Gah. How was I supposed to write a good speech without making myself seem like a narcissist that bragged about her achievements in science? This was torture.

Atsushi, Fumi, and Riko jumped onto my bed. "Meh. Help me write a non-narcissist speech that highlight my awards, witty-ness, and blah. If I write it myself, it might turn out too egoist."

"_All_ biographical speeches are narcissist and egoist. Deal with it," said Atsushi.

"Hmm, you could have someone else talk first and describe your pwnage. Then you speak, you'll just agree and smile and laugh, like celebrities. Though you'll have to have Kaa-san approve of it first, which probably won't happen," said Riko.

"Write whatever you feel like. Everyone will be all 'OMG a Tensai!' and think that your words are like holy or something." replied Fumio.

"You guys are totally helpful. Why are you here in the first place? Didn't my door say, 'Do not disturb at all costs otherwise you shall receive chastisement for your transgression'? Anyhow, go away. I'm trying to do my speech, and you refuse to help. Therefore, GTFO." I said.

I hated being disturbed when I was concentrating on something. Especially since it was near 12 a.m. and that I ran 3 miles today in Physical Education. In short, I was tired, pissed off, and hungry. Not the best combination that you'd ever want to see me in. I glared at them, in hopes of getting them to go away. Atsushi flinched, Riko moved a little, and Fumio stared back. Damn. My glaring skills failed me.

"Actually, we're here to talk about you moving..." mumbled Riko, "We depend on your prize money a lot and none of us are able to even land a job. We'll be in financial trouble when you leave. Plus, it seems that you want to fly to Japan and leave us and not call us at all..." Riko bit her lip, " Kaa-san has been up late these past nights and worried that you were too eager for independence. Just go and tell her and To-san that you'll miss them and stuff..."

"Oh.." I was shocked that Kaa-san would worry that much. She had told me that she trusted me to do well enough that she wouldn't have to worry at all. I took a deep breath.

"Well, truth is, I'm stressed about moving. I don't want to be an ocean apart from everyone and be a science robot, coming up with theories and formulas and having no life. I have no clue of what Ouran is like, because Renge refuses to tell me, and if they will be willing to patent my ideas. I'll definitely miss Kaa-san's cooking, To-san's puns, and you three," I sighed, "You guys always seem to catch me in the wrong mood, ne?" I smiled and asked, "Group hug?"

"Kyaaaaaaaaa! I'll call you every day!" squealed Riko, and she tackled me. Atsushi and Fumio looked at each other and decided that it would be awkward to hug me but did so anyways. Ara, I was going to miss everyone so much...

**On the day of the party...**

I woke up to the sound of people running around and making a ruckus. I could hear Kaa-san yelling at my siblings in Chinese and switching to Japanese. Pity that I couldn't speak either language. Because they realized my ability in science at a young age, my parents decided that I wouldn't need to know my mother/father tongue.

I glanced at the clock, it was 5 a.m. in the morning. Sighing, I managed to drag myself out my bed, or rather, I rolled onto the floor. It was the most effective way since the shock would accelerate my heart rate, causing my blood circulation to go faster, therefore waking me up. I stumbled to the bathroom and did what normal people did when they woke up. I looked around. Oh God. Even the bathroom was decorated with streamers and sparkles. I decided to wear my glasses today since I didn't feel like putting on my contacts when my eyes were still tired. It would make my vision much worse than now; I'm practically blind without my contacts or glasses.

I changed into a white t-shirt and track pants and walked to the living room. "What the-" was all I managed to say. I was immediately glomped by Riko.

"You actually managed to wake up? Someone get a camera!" squealed Riko. I glared in response. Riko backed off. A wise choice. I yawned and walked to the kitchen, rubbing my eyes at the same time. To-san had decided to cook breakfast, which he only did on rare occasions. I gasped. He had made onigiri and Creme Brulee! My two favorite foods! Even though they weren't meant for breakfast, I stuffed my esophagus with these delights. After eating almost all of the onigiri and Creme Brulee, I downed a glass of milk. I sighed contently.

"You know, if you continue to eat in such a fashion, you might choke to death one day," To-san scolded. I shrugged. I've ate like this ever since I was three and nothing ever happened, besides me having a bigger esophagus than anyone else in my family. I got up from my chair and walked to the living room.

I twitched. The living room had been decorated in a fashion that made it look like it was a gay pride party. Streamers formed rainbows, glitter was scattered on the floor, and florescent stickers formed 'Goodbye and Good Luck, Shiroi!'. The only decent item in this rainbow-ey mess was the table; it was only covered by a white tablecloth. Otherwise the cupcakes, cake, and cookies that adorned the table looked... ridiculous. "Isn't the living room absolutely fabulous?" smirked Fumio.

"Literally. You aren't going to invite gays are you?" I twitched. I was homophobic ever since I saw two men making out in an alleyway in San Francisco when I was five years old. I shuddered at the memory.

'Nah, we don't want you passing out on the cake." replied Atsushi.

"Ne, Onee-san! Isn't the party area pretty? Kaa-san and I worked on it for two hours," said Riko with a stunningly cute smile. I sweatdropped and put on a faux smile.

"Yeah! Everything is so colorful and creative! The colors would do better if they were less bright, ne?" I replied.

"Ok! Thanks for the ideas! We probably won't ever have another party though," Riko pointed out.

"Ara, look at the time! It's 6:35; we better get ready!" gasped Kaa-san, who was in a dress. Atsushi, To-san, Fumio, Riko and I flocked to our rooms to change.

Riko and I shared a bedroom except it was divided down the center by a curtain since she didn't like watching me work. I was fine with that since I didn't like being watched. A purple velvet dress that I recognized as one of my Kaa-san's was folded neatly on my bed. I hated dresses but put it on anyways. I opened my closet and found a pair of high heels where my shoes would have been, if I hadn't packed them up. Reluctantly, I put on the high heels and grimaced. It was impossible to walk in such torturous devices, invented by perverted men.

I poked the curtain and asked, "Done changing yet?"

"Yeah." replied Riko in a tired voice.

"What time did you get up this morning?"

"Uh, three?"

"Oh dear God. Take a nap or something."

"No. I just drank an energy drink. It just hasn't taken any effect yet."

"Meh. Let's go."

We walked to the living room and sat on the couch next to Kaa-san, who was reading a book. Riko flipped through a recent tabloid. I decided to stare at the ceiling. I noticed that even the ceiling was covered in pretty pretty bright colors. Ugh. "Oh my god. Miley Cyrus is pregnant!" exclaimed Riko.

"Really?"

"No."

"Meh. Why are celebrities so interesting to you?"

"I'm trying to find a good match for you, duh."

"I refuse to marry a celeb. All they can actually do is smile at cameras and act pretty."

"Good point."

Atsushi, Fumio, and To-san finally came. They were in dress shirts and black dress pants. I checked my watch- it was 6:57. "Three more minutes 'till seven," I reminded everyone. They nodded their heads.

Someone knocked. To-san opened the door and in came my relatives. "Shiroi-chan, you've grown so much!" exclaimed my grandmother. She hugged me and soon more and more relatives did the same.

Another knock. The room was suddenly flooded with my friends and classmates. "OMG! I'm going to miss you so much!" yelled Tsuki.

"Kyaa, without the president of our anime club, we might shut down!" pondered Shiori.

"Ara, everyone will miss the spartan archery captain, ne?" joked Kelly.

"Heh yeah. I'm going to miss you guys so much!" I made a sad face, "Oh by the way, I'll spam your inboxes like a bot."

"Psh!" they all said and we laughed.

I chatted with my friends and relatives for most of the party and then the dinner that To-san ordered from his workplace, a sushi bar, came. Everyone was amazed by the presentation of fish on rice. I didn't really care and started to stuff my esophagus. Again. Funny thing was, all my friends ate like this. Thankfully, no one noticed how fast the sushi was disappearing and how we were eating. The four of us were full after ten minutes of continuous stuffing and we excused ourselves from the table. "God, my relatives eat so slow. And they didn't even notice that us four went nom nom nom and ate half the sushi." exclaimed Shiori.

"Lol yeah. Everyone was too busy socializing and they didn't even pay attention to our spectacular show of stuffing ourselves!" said Tsuki. We all grinned at our abnormal eating habits that were quite the contrary from most of the girls at school. Half of them ate half of their salad and would say that they were full. The other half didn't eat at all. We ate like pigs and still maintained a normal figure. Us four had really good digestive systems.

"When are you leaving tomorrow? I want to glomp you as much as possible before then," said Kelly.

"I'm leaving at 3 a.m. A Hellish time. Apparently they're sending a private jet so all my stuff can fit. The Ouran staff are damn rich," I replied. I was going to collapse on my bed as soon as this party was over. I glanced at my watch- it was 6:22. Everyone was finished with their sushi. They flooded back into the living room. Oh dang. Time for the speeches.

To-san and Kaa-san gave theirs. After they finished, everyone applauded really loud. Now it was my turn. I took a deep breath and spoke. I recited the lines that I wrote with the help of Google and smiled fakely. When I was finished, everyone applauded and Riko popped a balloon filled with confetti. The party was finally over. All the partygoers were gone by 7:10 and I went to the bathroom.

I stared at the counter. My contacts were gone. I swore under my breath for about a minute and searched for my contacts. I even extracted DNA from the fingerprints. Apparently, one of my cousins stole them. I wanted to strangle her. I sighed. By now she was already on the plane back to China so I had no hope of confronting her and reclaiming my contacts. I didn't know her address either. I decided, _Oh well, I'll just use my glasses.... even though I look weird with them._

After my refreshing shower, I slumped on my bed. I needed my sleep since I was going to wake up at 1 a.m. to prepare for the trip to Ouran. I drifted into sleep, wondering what life in Ouran would be like...

* * *

~Koori-chan


	3. The Host Club

Beware. I will mention several Internet memes and this chapter is long.

* * *

**_August 29th..._**

I woke up groggily to the sound of my alarm clock. A custom one that I engineered to Rickroll me. At a very loud volume. I rolled out of bed and put on my glasses. I did my business in the bathroom and went back to my room to change. I changed into skinny jeans, a random shirt I bought at Target for 75% off, and black converse like a zombie and dragged my luggage out to the living room.

There were three large suitcases total. I decided to pack all my clothes, undergarments, socks, and shoes into one, my scientific equipment and my laptop and its various accessories into another, and my toiletries, violin and other little things in the last suitcase. My phone, mp3 player, Pika-chan and Haro would all go into my carry on backpack. I was prepared for the 13 hour trip. I was likely to puke at least three times in the jet so I brought motion sickness pills just in case.

I walked into the kitchen to prepare breakfast for myself. Everyone was waiting for me in the kitchen. "Ohayo..." I mumbled sleepily. Apples were in a bowl on the table so I grabbed one and started to eat it.

"Well, today is the big day," said Kaa-san cheerily.

"Ah." I replied. I felt like a zombie. My brain was in 'Dead' mode and the most advanced things I could say were monosyllabic words.

"Ara, Shi-chan is still sleepy! It's still a miracle that she could actually wake up; it's only 1 a.m!" praised To-san. Being able to wake up early for two days straight wasn't impossible for me. Just really damn tiring.

"You ought to drink something," Atsushi pushed the milk carton towards me. I poured a near-overflowing glass and chugged it.

"Heh, when you go to Ouran, you better not stuff yourself like you do at home. The rich people will probably think of you as unrefined. Unless you offer some complex medical explanation." joked Fumio. I nodded.

"Nee-san, do you want one of my energy drinks? It comes in grape, vanilla, or strawberry flavor," inquired Riko. I nodded. Riko dashed to the fridge and handed me a vanilla flavored energy drink. I chugged the drink as well. Ah, caffeine. It almost instantly woke me up. Everyone was watching me intently and they clapped when they saw that I was starting to wake up.

"Being able to wake Shi-chan and put her in a good mood is an achievement that deserves a Nobel Prize!" gasped Atsushi. Fumio smirked. I glared at them. They laughed even more and even Kaa-san and To-san joined in. Riko sweatdropped. I cracked up. My family's ridiculousness is sometimes impossible to handle. It was like the 'How is babby formed' video page. Suddenly, I remembered something. I needed to put my Japanese-English dictionary into my carry-on backpack. I glanced at my watch- nearly 2 a.m. The escorts were coming soon.

We all jumped when we heard a knock and saw two men in black suits with sunglasses appear outside our door. Atsushi twitched and mumbled, "This is like that random 'Men in Black' movie..."

Kaa-san and To-san got up and opened the door. Immediately, the two men said in a robot-like monotone, "We were sent from Ouran Gakuen by Yuzura Suoh to pick up scholarship student, Shiroi Umehara."

"Here," I raised my hand. I put on my backpack and attempted to drag the suitcase that contained my clothes. I swore under my breath. _It was so damn heavy! Gah!_ Instantly, the men took my luggage and loaded it onto the van. It had six seats in the back, so my family could fit in!

I walked to the car and started to call my friends on my cell phone. All of them replied groggily and said they'd be there. Kaa-san and Riko scrambled to the side that I was sitting on and all the men in my family went to the other. I wondered how they got such a limo-like van. It felt awkward in the car; the seats were leather and there was a carpet in the car as well as refreshments. _Dang, these people were bloody rich. _

The car ride to the private airport took about an hour minutes. I gasped when I saw it. It looked like a regular airport, except there were shiny, new Boeing planes too? _Oh hot damn._ I was really hesitant to get out of the car until I saw Tsuki, Shiori and Kelly wave. I grinned ear to ear and jumped out of the car and glomped them. My family followed.

"I'm going to miss you guys so much! Remember to call, email, or IM me as much as possible, ne?" Tears started to fall down my face. I group hugged everyone and boarded the plane. I looked out of the window and saw that all Kaa-san, Riko, Tsuki, Kelly, and Shiori were crying. I was too. I pressed my hands against the window and waved until they were covered by the clouds. I drifted into a deep sleep.

* * *

I woke up and glanced at my watch. It was 10 a.m. I asked the nearest stewardess, "Er, where are we?"

"We just landed at the airport," replied the stewardess with a smile. Wow. Kaa-san said that on a normal plane, it would take at least 13 hours to get to Japan from San Fransisco. This flight took 7 hours. Half the time. Technology, banzai! I got myself to stand up and drag my backpack with me.

The stewardess guided me to the exit of the plane. As soon as I got out, I was blinded by flashes. Reporters started to yell questions in Japanese. I blinked. Here goes nothing, "Ano, nihongo ga hanashimasen." The reporters backed off, seeing how it was impossible to ask me any questions that I would actually understand. I sighed in relief. Thank God I practiced saying that. I was definitely taking a Japanese class once I started in Ouran.

More men in black suits and sunglasses came and dragged me to a shiny black BMW. I plugged in my earphones and started to listen to my mp3s. The best Japanese phrases I knew were lyrics to various opening songs of animes. Otaku-ness FTW. Apparently the men had put my luggage into the trunk while I was being mobbed by Japanese reporters. Those guys had to be on steroids; each suitcase weighed at least 70 pounds. I prayed that the microscope lenses didn't shatter and that the scalpels didn't stab anything in my luggage.

They pulled the car up in front of ginourmous pink buildings. I twitched. I had expected that such a rich and prestigious school would be whitewashed and look like a Gothic church. The men dragged me out of the car along with my luggage to one of the pink buildings. They continued to drag me through the door, up a few stairs, and across hallways until they reached a room numbered 404_. _I smirked. 'Error! 404 – page not found'. Lovely. "Your dorm," they said in the same robotic voice as before. I opened the door and got glomped immediately by Renge.

"Kyaaaaaaaa!!!! You came! You came! Yatta! I have to bring you to the Host Club! You will totally go moe! Moe!" she screeched while spinning me around. Like a record.

"Agh! You're killing me, Ren-chan! You might make me puke on you," I screamed in protest.

"Oh. Oops! Gomenesai!" Renge apologized. She dropped me on the bed and started to rant about the school, and she showed me her uniform. I twitched. It looked like, a schoolgirl version of the 'Beauty and the Beast' dress. It looked absolutely and fabulously.....terrible. We were also required to wear knee high white socks and brown dress shoes.

"Ah. How much was the uniform?" I inquired. I doubted that I could afford it.

"About $3,000," chirped Renge, "It's pretty cheap in comparison to the school that I go to in France!"

I fainted. Three thousand dollars..... So... much... money... wait. If I remember correctly, they pay for my uniform too. I suddenly jumped up. "Renge. What does the boy's uniform look like?" she pulled out a picture. It looked, normal. Why did the girl's uniform look so... dumb? I sighed, "Do you think I have any chance of crossdressing?"

"You wouldn't look right in it because of your girly figure," said Renge.

"Meh."

"Want to see my latest cosplay outfit? It's the same as Maka's clothes in 'Soul Eater'. I can make one for you too. With your type of hair, you should cosplay as Rin Tohsaka from 'Fate/Stay Night'. If only you didn't have glasses..."

"Do you have any spare contacts?"

"No. My vision is 20/20! Ohohohohohohoho!"

"Screw you."

"How cruel!" she made a dramatic gesture. I shrugged. We spent an hour talking about anime, school life, and appearance. Renge wasn't annoying as long as you were an otaku as well.

* * *

**After a few hours...**

It was now 12 o'clock- lunch time. Renge dragged me to the cafeteria and ordered some French dishes. "Here. You can have it. I eat this every day so you should try it out," offered Renge.

"Really? Free food?" I said, with puppy eyes.

"Yes," she waved a hand.

I took a huge bite. _Kyaaaaaaaaaa! It was the yummiest food I've ever tasted! _"Kyaaaa! How is it possible to get tired of such high class food! It's so... so...so _good_!"

"But it's low class compared to what I eat at my mansion," sighed Renge. I finished the entire tray within five minutes and downed my orange juice, which they just happened to put in a champagne glass. Like in the Bel-Air theme song. Heh. Rich people.

As soon as I put away the tray, I was being dragged to the Third Music Room. I sighed. Apparently dragging me was fun. Everyone seemed to do it. "I'm going to leave you here, ok? You'll have more fun by yourself when you're with the Host Club," said Renge, "Right now, they probably are setting up and other stuff so you won't have to pay debt to the Shadow King because of disturbing their business."

"Ah," I muttered. I pushed open the doors and was immediately assaulted by red rose petals. I found myself looking at a group of seven gorgeous high school guys. There was a tall blond, a short blond, a guy with glasses, a really tall guy with black hair, a brunette, and two redheads, which were twins I bet. The entire club said in unison, "Irashaimasse."

I pulled out my Japanese-English dictionary and looked up 'irashaimasse'. Oh. It meant welcome. Then I noticed that I didn't know what a Host Club was. I looked that up too and apparently it was, "a common feature in the night-time entertainment industry of Japan as well as other east Asian countries and areas outside Asia with a high east Asian population. They are establishments that employ primarily female staff and cater to males seeking drink and attentive conversation. The more recent **host clubs** are similar establishments where primarily male staff cater to females. Host and hostess bars are considered part of the 'water trade' of Japan."

My eyes grew wide. I stared at them all. "Prostitutes...?" I asked dumbly. I seriously had no clue what the heck this club was for.

The tall blond teleported to a corner and curled up into a ball. The two red heads looked at me curiously and burst into maniacal laughter. I stared at the brunette, who looked like a girly man. The guy with glasses looked at me and then scribbled something in his notebook. A short blond bounced up to me, followed by the really tall guy, and asked something in Japanese. I sighed and said, "Gomen, nihongo ga hanashimasen," I had said this phrase at least 40 times.

The hosts stared at me for a minute. The guy with glasses spoke to one of the redheads and I heard 'merit' being mentioned once. I twitched. Didn't I just say I didn't know Japanese? The redhead nodded. He looked at me and asked, in perfect English, "Are you the new scholarship student that transferred into Class 1-A from America?" Everyone was staring at me curiously now.

I was surprised that at least someone knew English and could speak it without an accent. "Yeah."

He continued, "You'll be needing a translator since you can't speak or understand Japanese. You wouldn't mind if I helped would you?" He smiled and his twin looked at me then looked back at his twin curiously.

"I wouldn't mind at all! I'd be screwed if I didn't have a translator! I can only read Japanese." I replied. I was saved! I wasn't doomed to be lost in translation!

"I'm Kaoru Hitachiin, and this is my brother Hikaru."

"Wait. Are you related to Yuzuha Hitachiin? The fashion designer?" I was giddy with excitement. Definitely. They looked just like her too.

"Yeah, I see that you are one of her fans," said Kaoru.

"I love her designs! I would buy her clothes if only I had the money."

Suddenly, the tall blond sprang up and said something dramatically in Japanese. I glanced at Kaoru. "He says that he pities you for being a commoner, working so hard day and night and only getting handfuls of money."

I glared at the tall blond. He retreated back to his corner. "Ah. What are the names of everyone?" I asked Kaoru.

"The tall blond is Tamaki Suoh, the short blond is Mitsukuni Haninozuka, the tall guy with dark hair is Takashi Morinozuka, the brunette is Haruhi Fujioka, and the guy with the glasses is Kyouya Ootori." explained Kaoru. His brother was staring at me. Then, I realized another thing.

"Ootori-san, you're one of Yoshio Ootori's sons right?" I inquired. He nodded. I pulled out my notebook and asked him for an autograph. Everyone twitched. What? I just happened to be interested in the field of medicine and by chance I got to meet a son of a great medical pioneer! Who wouldn't want an autograph? Kyouya pushed up his glasses and signed it.

Score! Now for the twins' autographs. I walked over and handed the notebook to them and asked them for their autographs. More twitching. It wasn't that weird for me to ask the kids of designers of medical pioneers for their autographs. It would be weirder for me to ask the kids to ask their parents for an autograph. They glanced at each other and then signed it.

I smiled. I checked my watch- 2 o'clock! "Ah. Sorry, I have to go. Thanks for the autographs and letting me talk with you guys! Bye!" I dashed to my room and turned on my computer. Ah. All of my friends were on Skype. I started a video chat with them and told them about my day.

"Renge-chan took me to this cafeteria with super high-class food, like foie gras, and then dragged me to the Host Club. At first, I thought it was some sort of a variation of a strip club. The dictionary didn't exactly explain what water trade was. Plus, I was skimming."

"That will be the thing that will make it possible for Shi-chan to get less than an 100%!" joked Shiori. I stuck my tongue out at her. She rolled her eyes.

"Is there an archery club at Ouran? Or a science lab?" inquired Tsuki. Aw, she was worried that I would have nothing to do.

"Ouran probably has both. And much more," I replied monotonously, "Plus, they drink orange out of champagne glasses!"

"Ne, what happened to your contacts?" asked Kelly.

"They got stolen. And now they are in China. I don't know my cousin's address, otherwise I would have used my prize money to fly there and rightfully get them back. Seriously. Those contacts were expensive. Damn her," I cursed. I really hated my glasses. Kaa-san had bought them for 80% off at a store and they were... Coke-bottle rimmed glasses. When I saw those, I argued with Kaa-san for about a week on how the lenses weren't designed properly and how it would affect my retina and eyesight. I had added in random medical facts about eyesight that didn't apply to this case just to confuse her. I eventually convinced her to allow me to buy myself contacts. I smiled at the memory.

Tsuki asked, "What classes are you going to take? The same as the ones here?"

"Hell no. I'm going to take Genetics and Medical Biology, Advanced Violin Theory, Calculus 5D, History and Economics: Proseminar, Quantum Field Theory III and Comparative Literature III." I replied. I was actually kind of excited to take these classes. All of these classes were much more advanced than the ones at school, but I was prepared. The teacher for each class had quizzed me and I passed with 100% on each one, otherwise, these classes were only for third years, not first years like me.

"Eh? I thought that you wanted to take a Japanese class," queried Shiori.

"I was originally going to, but I decided to learn privately. The people at the Host Club know that I have no knowledge of Japanese, for now, and I might get manipulated. This is just a precaution since it's kind of suspicious how Ootori-san mentioned 'merits', " I grinned evilly. I had outsmarted Ootori-san. I glanced at my schedule again. There were so much time to change between classes! and the lunch break was one hour long.

"Well, I think we can talk later. It's 6 a.m. here and I'm awfully tired," Kelly pointed out, "G'nite." She went offline. Soon, both Tsuki and Shiori left too. The power of peer pressure. I sighed. I had nothing to do. I studied the room; there were two large poster beds, two bathrooms complete with a shower and bathtub, a bell that rang for maid service, a fridge, a plasma screen HDTV, and a study room. I was really sleepy because of jet lag and fell asleep. Before I did, I wrote Renge a note to wake me up at 7:30 a.m.


	4. First Day

_Sorry for not updating in a long time~ I was busy... **Remember to REVIEW!!!! **It helps me improve the quality of the story._

_Here are the songs mentioned in this chapter (they are on YouTube)_

_Vivaldi's Four Seasons: Spring, Allegro: .com/watch?v=JKQoeUr1lGw_

_Sibelius' Violin Concerto: Allegro Moderato, (Part 1) .com/watch?v=3OlI0RLQJoU , (Part 2) .com/watch?v=t2tklQp2Cr4_

_Paganini's Caprice No. 24: .com/watch?v=Lh3D_ujMjtM_

_Mendelssohn's Violin Concerto in E minor, Op. 64, First movement: .com/watch?v=OJfKlp1ZfSg_

* * *

_**August 31st...**_

"Wake up, Shi-chan!" screeched Renge in a voice that I could have swore to be the Devil's. She was tapping on my clock - it read 7:45 a.m. I cursed under my breath and jumped out of bed. I dragged myself into the hideous uniform and then went to one of the bathrooms. I searched for my toothpaste. Damn; I had forgotten to unpack yesterday. After searching the bathroom for a minute, I saw that there was a basket for toiletries, like in hotels. I took a tube of toothpaste and a toothbrush from the basket. I brushed my teeth as fast as I could and did the usual. Today, my hair decided to pull off a horrid case of bedhead. I looked like Bill Kaulitz. I brushed my black hair a couple of times and it went to its normal straight form, curling slightly at the ends. I stared at the mirror; my ice blue eyes were red rimmed. I sighed. I was still pretty jet lagged, even though I slept for about sixteen hours. My wrist was painful since I had forgotten to take my watch off yesterday. It would be a miracle if I could even vibrato in strings class today. I saw that Renge had kindly put my glasses on the counter; pity that I wouldn't wear them today since it would make my nearsighted-ness even worse because my eyes were very tired. They also looked weird on me.

"Let's go, Renge-chan," I said in a monotone. I grabbed my bag, which was delivered to me in the morning. It contained several notebooks, a normal pencil, a pencil sharpener, and one eraser. I was going to add in my own stationery later. I sighed. Everything beyond arm's reach was blurry. I was screwed for sure. I was about to open the door when I noticed that I also had violin class in my schedule so I dug through my luggage and dragged it with me.

"Ara, you play violin?" inquired Renge. I nodded sleepily in response. I dashed to the door and opened it, and found the Hitachiin twins leaning against it. The fell backwards and I dodged. They fell on Renge instead of me. She started to scream something in Japanese, probably swear words, and started to wave her hands wildly. I ducked under her arms and walked down the hall, and found myself being carried back to my room by the twins. I glared at them irritably, because it was still morning and I didn't want to be messed with. Twin 1 almost let go but Twin 2 jabbed him in the ribs. Gah. I need to improve my glaring. "Where's your schedule?" demanded Kaoru. I showed him the piece of paper. "Oh! You share a class with Tamaki! Advanced Music Technique and Theory, only Tamaki is the pianist for them. These are the alumni courses... How'd you sign up for them?"

"Hax." I said. Yay for monosyllabic words.

"No. Seriously. We've always wanted to apply for Advanced Art and Design, but the teachers refused."

"I took a short quiz that the teachers gave me. I passed with full scores. They let me in. Done."

"Oh. Okay. I'll keep that in mind next time."

"Eh, we better get going; it's 7:55."

The twins grabbed my arms dragged me out of the dorms. What is up with these people? Is people dragging supposed to be a sport for the rich and famous? I hope not.

We soon reached a shiny black Prius and the twins stuffed me in the back seats in between them. Great. How come Renge gets shotgun? If they were planning to make me uncomfortable, they were epically failing. Any weird reactions that I got I dismissed as my nerves misfiring. It seemed to work every time. It did now. Hooray for my psychological strength!

We reached the building within a matter of seconds, which made riding a car impractical, and Renge and the twins dashed a separate direction. I ran as fast as I could towards the 2nd Music Room, where my class was. Thankfully, I was not late. However, I had to introduce myself to the class. Dammit! I assumed that everyone could understand English and I told them about how I won a few awards in science, archery, and violin. The teacher pointed to one of the seats, in the violin section. It was in the first seat too. Oh great. As the teacher was taking roll, I looked around. The room was ginourmous and pink. There were at least 100 students in this class, all divided evenly into each instrumental section. There was only one pianist and that allowed there to be more violinists. I wasn't called on since the teacher already knew that I was here. The pianist waved. I squinted. Dang. I suddenly recalled that the Kaoru had mentioned Tamaki being in this class as the pianist. I glared at him.

The teacher raised the conductor's wand and I panicked. Gah! What was I supposed to do? The person who I shared a stand with pointed at the piece that she had placed on it. I sighed in relief. It was the first movement of Sibelius' Violin Concerto. I had played the solo's part when I was in middle school for a talent show. And then the conductor gestured at me. I assumed that I had to play the soloist's part. I got out my violin waited for his signal. He gave it. I started to play the piece. I tried to add in as much vibrato as I could while being careful. As soon as I got to the 5th position shifts, I got a little worried. I hadn't rosined my bow for a week. I got past the notes without making it sound absolutely horrid. The rest was easy.

When we finished, which was close to the end of the period, everyone stared at me and applauded. I tried not to blush and bowed. I packed up my violin and got a copy of the pieces that we were supposed to work on. I got the solo sheet music for the pieces as well. They were working on Vivaldi's Four Seasons and Sibelius' Violin Concerto. Mostly orchestra work with a violin solo. Considering the fact that it was still the beginning of the year, playing Sibelius' Violin Concerto meant that there were harder pieces to come. I smiled. I liked challenges.

My next class was English, their most advanced language class. There were other language classes, but this was the most advanced. According to the staff. Oh well, at least my translator was in this class, as well as his twin and the girly man. Little did he know that I was going to borrow a couple Japanese textbooks from the library, as well as a Rosetta Stone program, and learn Japanese on my own. It was the same method I learned violin; by learning all the technical things and watching professionals.

Once again, I had to explain who I was and blah. Everyone understood what I was saying and I could feel them staring at me intensely. A couple had just come from Advanced Music Technique and Theory as well. Damn. Now they were definitely going to spread the news of me. To everyone in Ouran. I was going to avoid the Host Club, in fear of being glomped excessively by the members.

I glanced at my schedule, checking what my next class was:

_First Period: Advanced Music Technique and Theory _

_Second Period: English _

_Brunch _

_Third Period: Genetics and Medical Biology _

_Fourth Period: Calculus 5D_

_Lunch  
Fifth Period: History and Economics  
Sixth Period: Quantum Field Theory III_

I hurried to the English classroom, not knowing where the heck it was. Suddenly, I felt myself being dragged the opposite direction. It was the twins. "Umehara-san, why are you going the opposite direction?" asked Kaoru in an exasperated voice.

"Because this school is ginourmous and they didn't put which classroom I was supposed to go to on my schedule."

"I thought that you'd take a more advanced class than English."

"I did. I applied for Comparative Literature III but they said that English was mandatory. I find that lame since I already _know_ English and this class is for people _learning _it."

"Good point. Are you going to the Host Club today?"

"Hell no. I'm going to study in the library."

"Nah, you can study in the Host Club. And maybe perform a few pieces for our customers."

"Gah! Did Tamaki send you a text message or something?"

"No. He ambushed us and started to rant about how amazing you are at violin."

"There's better. Like Izhak Perlman."

"Whatever. We're at the classroom."

The twins finally let me go and I waited for the teacher to assign me a seat. Instead, he appointed me as teacher's assistant so I sat near his desk. Yes! I don't have to re-learn middle school curriculum English! He also pointed to the huge stack of essays. I assumed that I had to correct it.

They were decent essays, having some grammar problems and spelling errors. According to the grading rubrics, most of the people got a B+. Hopefully, no one kills me for it. I noticed that the entire time, people were staring at me. Disturbing. Apparently a couple people from my first class were also in this class as well. I heard the word 'tensai' uttered a lot. I twitched and sweat dropped. If I was unlucky enough, I was probably going to be mobbed by people for autographs. I sighed. There was still around 20 minutes left in class.

"Umehara-san, why don't you go and correct last night's homework?" the teacher gestured toward another pile. It was somewhat smaller than the last. They were doing a spelling worksheet. Easy stuff. I finished correcting the pile within two minutes. I looked around the classroom. It was similar to the 2nd music room, except instead of band chairs, there were desks and chairs. The teacher told me that there was a few minutes left and that I could do whatever I wanted. Yes! I took out my mp3 player and started to listen to it. Thanks to shuffle, the first song that popped up was 'Resonance' by TM Revolution. I smiled; I had watched 'Soul Eater' such a long time ago. Middle school? Probably 6th grade. _Fifteen minutes..._

"Okay! Is everyone done with their classwork?" said the teacher groggily.

"Hai!"

"You can go and socialize,"

Kaoru, Hikaru and Haruhi walked over to where I was sitting. "Ara, you listen to rock?" inquired Hikaru. It seemed that everyone in the Host Club knew English. He reached for one of my earphones and I replied with a malicious glare. Paganini's Caprice No. 24 came up on my playlist. I fingered along under my desk. The hosts were still hanging around my desk.

"We'd like to do us a favor," grinned the twins in unison, "Come to the Host Club and perform on the violin for our customers."

"Hell no."

"Let's play the Which-One-of-Us-is-Hikaru-kun Game! If you win, you don't have to come. If you lose, you will have to come every day!"

Dammit. I sighed and analyzed them. Renge had told me that she had heard Haruhi saying that Hikaru was meaner than Kaoru. I glared as evilly as I could to intimidate them. The one on the left glared back and the one on the right shifted. Bingo! I pointed to the twin on the left and declared, "You are Hikaru!"

"Wrong!"

"No, she's right. If you want her to be able to tell you guys apart, then at least recognize that she did," sighed Haruhi in an exasperated tone. Victory. The bell rang for brunch and I ran off to the library.

* * *

I analyzed my surroundings, making sure that none of the members were here. I smiled and cordially asked the librarian, "May I borrow the textbooks for beginning, intermediate, and advanced Japanese? Oh, by the way, please do not put them in your records,"

She nodded and handed me the books. I disguised them as textbooks for C++, HTML, and GNU. Luckily, there were maps in the library, for unknown reasons, and I took one. This was going to come in handy. I searched the map for the location of the Archery club, if any. There was one, and it was in between the Kendo club and Karate club. I hunted down the twins, who were loitering in the hallway outside of the English classroom, and dragged them with me to the Archery club. "Where the hell are you taking us?" whined Hikaru.

"I need someone to translate. Duh."

"What for?"

"I want to join the Archery club."

"Heh. We'll only translate for you if you play for the Host Club," they grinned evilly. Gah! They caught me there.

"Fine! Only this time," I warned.

We reached the huge structure. Surprisingly, it wasn't pretty and pink like the other buildings. I pushed open the huge doors and I was greeted by a group of buff looking guys holding bows. Was I going to be the only girl? I poked Kaoru in the ribs and hissed, "Tell him that I want to join his club,"

Kaoru nodded and translated to the captain, who had a red bandana tied around his forehead. The captain started to laugh. "He says that he doubts that a girl can pass their entrance test, even if she is a scholarship student,"

"Sexist bastard. Tell him that I'd like to challenge him to a competition of accuracy. If he wins, I don't join the club. If I win, _I'll_ become the new captain," I smirked. If he accepted the challenge, things would get interesting. Kaoru translated and I saw the captain nod. He handed me a bow and an arrow. I checked the arrow to see if it was rigged; it wasn't. The captain honored his pride, eh?

We followed him to the ranges and he shot first. Even with my crappy vision, I could see that he hit bull's eye, dead center. I frowned. The only way for me to beat this was to split his arrow in half. Thank God that these were wooden. I stared at the target, calculating, while the captain looked as if he already won. I took a deep breath, aimed, and fired. There were loud gasps echoing through the vast room; I had split the captain's arrow. The twins clapped and the captain looked at the target in disbelief. He screamed something in Japanese, which Kaoru translated to, "She's a witch! There's no way that she could have actually done so! No one has actually been able to in the course of history!"

I smiled as sweetly as I could and said, "Physics. It's worth learning, you biased imbecile," Kaoru translated it gleefully and the captain lunged at me. I glared at him. He continued to charge at me. Suddenly, a flash of yellow came and the captain was on his back, unconcious. Hani had judo flipped him. Hani jumped on him and declared something in Japanese with his uber cute voice. Mori appeared out of nowhere and picked up Hani. I poked Kaoru and he translated, "Picking on my friends is a no-no! Especially Shi-chan!"

The rest of my school day continued on in a very drab manner. In all the classes, all that we did was take notes. I prayed that the entire year wasn't like this, otherwise, I'd literally die from boredom and hand cramps, which would probably lead to Carpal Tunnel.

The bell rang for school to end and I treated it as the shot of a starter pistol; I sprinted to the 3rd Music room. I found Renge and tossed her my bag, "Take it back to the dorm room! I have to something for the Host Club because of a stupid bargain and I don't want them looking through my bag. Whatever happens, make sure that none of the members look at my stuff, ok?"

I continued to run and I reached the room. I kicked the doors open and yet again, I was assaulted by the red rose petals and blinding light. "Irashaimasse!" I prayed that the activities this time wouldn't kill me and walked in.


	5. Performance

_Hello~! Sorry that I haven't posted in a while. I went on vacation and had a molar pulled out by the dentist. To compensate, I wrote a pretty long chapter this time (it's actually the second half of chapter four. o-o;;).... Constructive criticism is much appreciated and will help me improve the quality of the story. Happy reading!_

_Songs mentioned in this chapter (on YouTube):_

_Mendelssohn's Violin Concerto in E minor, Op. 64, First movement: .com/watch?v=OJfKlp1ZfSg (it's solo + orchestra, not solo + violin. There weren't any good HD examples so I decided that this would work.)_

_'Shissou' by Last Alliance is the ending song of the anime adaption of Ouran and was heard several times through out episode 16 as a song on Hikaru's CD/mp3 player and was a ringtone._

_Kaoru and Hikaru will refer to Tamaki as 'Tono' a few times. 'Tono' means pretty much 'milord'._

* * *

_**August 31st...**_

**Shiroi POV **

"Irashaimasse!" the hosts sang in unison. They were all lined up, as if they were going to start receiving customers thirty minutes before club hours.

"It's only me. You guys can pick the piece I'll be playing while I warm up."

I was in a pretty sour mood because my eyes were tired from squinting all day. I sighed and opened my violin case. I put the shoulder rest onto my full-sized Stradivarius violin, which was given to me as a prize in a biology inventions contest. I treasured it like how the creature in 'Lord of the Rings' obsessed over the ring.

I pondered why everyone was shocked that I knew how to play violin or did archery; both were hobbies, not career interests, quite the contrary from biology. I played a couple four octave scales and practiced my 7th position vibrato. My hand was insanely tired from earlier abuse, such as excessive note-taking and sleeping with my watch on. Great. I prayed that I could play decently for now otherwise, as Renge warned, I might get enslaved to Kyouya and pals.

"We would love it if you could play Mendelssohn's Violin Concerto in E minor during club activities, princess."

"Sure. Oh, for your information, if you call me 'princess' again, I will punch you in the stomach."

Immediately, the Tamaki retreated to a corner in the room to mope and poke at the wall. "By the way, is the piece we picked the appropriate level for you? It's for advanced violinists," Kyouya pointed out.

I laughed, "I've played it before in middle school. I just need to look at the sheet music and that should refresh my memory,"

A few members raised their eyebrows and Kyouya wrote something down in his notebook. I smiled at the memory of parents and their kids gasping at me when I played it during the Spring Talent show, no one pushed me around or called me a geek after that. "We can't have you performing in the uniform!" declared Tamaki pompously.

"I agree. This uniform looks stupid and is a hideous color," I scratched irritably at the cloth. Whomever designed this ought to be sent to jail.

"Besides, you look bad in it too," the twins stated bluntly.

"Oh, you're really nice,"

"Yellow doesn't go well with your blue eyes. How'd you inherit such an interesting color?"

"I'm one-sixteenth Norwegian. I just happened to get the genes for blue eyes. My dad also inherited it and Atsushi has green eyes."

"Atsushi?"

"My 18 year old emo brother."

"Customers arrive in twenty minutes. It would be bad for our reputation if our special guest wasn't ready yet or if we weren't set up. Today we'll be dressing in our uniforms, for convenience's sake, ok?" Kyouya interrupted. The twins started to drag me to what I assumed was the dressing room and gave me a package.

"Put this on. You will be wearing it for the performance."

"Ok. If it's something slutty, both of you will be receiving a kick in the stomach, nice twin or not," with that, I closed the frilly pink curtains and pulled the garment out of the plastic. It was a negligee. I facepalmed and peeked out of the curtains. I noticed that the doppelgangers were still standing there, unwisely, not knowing that I took karate and judo for two years. I threw the outfit at one of them and the bag at the other, in hopes of distracting them. It worked and I aimed for Hikaru's stomach with my foot. I did so 'gently' otherwise I'd kill him, even though it would be nice if I did. I heard the air rush out of him and he fell over. I saw Kaoru trying to escape with the corner of my eye and judo flipped him.

"What the hell was that for?" Hikaru groaned. He had recovered his breath pretty fast.

"I told you not to give me something slutty and you did. I gave you what I promised, though I spared Kaoru since he was too far away for a kick to the stomach. He got a judo flip instead."

Kaoru was about to say something when the rest of the Host Club rushed to the scene. "What happened?" everyone seemed to say at the same time.

I picked up the negligee and sighed, "The twins wanted me to wear this for the performance. I promised both of them a kick in the stomach if they gave me something slutty to wear. I think all of you would agree that this," I gestured to the garment, "is slutty. I partially kept my promise. Kaoru was out of range so I judo flipped him. Legally, it was self defense from sexual harassment, right Haruhi, the host studying to be a lawyer?"

Everyone stared blankly. I stared back. "Um, how do you know that I want to be a lawyer?" Haruhi said nervously.

I laughed, "Anyone would research the other scholarship student! I mean, you ought to know what your competition is, right? By the way, your secret is safe with me, Haruhi. You're lucky that you don't have to wear this dress. Now, according to my watch, there's fifteen minutes until customers arrive. We better get going,"

Tamaki handed me a lilac colored silk dress. "What you did to the twins was very suitable. You should wear this instead,"

"Why do you have a dress on hand, sempai?"

"Because Haruhi won't wear it."

"That doesn't answer my question, but whatever."

Hani bounced up to me and cocked his head to one side, "Ne, Shi-chan, where are your glasses?"

"I left them in the dorm since they're bad for my vision. Plus, my contacts are in China because some idiot cousin of mine stole them."

Kyouya tapped his pencil against his black notebook ominously, "May I ask what your prescription is?"

"Um, around -635, give or take."

Tamaki snapped his fingers and Mori dashed to some closet hidden within the 'music room' and came back with a box of contacts and saline solution.

"Arigato! I'll do my best on this performance so I won't have to owe you guys anything!" with that said, I dashed to the changing room and slipped into the dress. I went to the sink and put on my contacts. Ah, I can see clearly again!

I pushed the curtains away and found myself being pulled towards a chair, surrounded by all sorts of cosmetics and hair accessories.

"We're going to work on your hair and make-up," the twins mumbled in unison. Lesson learned, much?

"Please do not kill my face or hair in revenge. I was simply keeping a promise," I stated in a bored voice.

"Hah. Like we would. It would ruin our reputation since cosmetics and fashion is what our family does."

"Mmka."

They worked very fast and efficiently. Kaoru brushed my hair while Hikaru put mascara on me. I prayed that he didn't stab me in the eye, move my contacts or anything along those lines. They backed away and stared at me for a few minutes. Kaoru grabbed a bottle of lip gloss and applied it. He was uncomfortably close to my face and I resisted the urge to blush. The two of them pushed me towards a large mirror. I stared at my reflection.

I gasped in surprise; my hair seemed to have more volume, and the bags under my eyes were gone. The make up seemed to go hand in hand with the dress. They truly were good at their craft. "Oi, can you stop staring at the mirror like a narcissist? You perfectly know that you won't be pretty after we remove your make-up,"

I was tempted to give Hikaru another kick in the stomach or 'flip the bird' but I glared coldly over my shoulder and walked to the rest of the group. I saw through the mirror that he shuddered. Success. My 'lite skills at scaring the crap out of people and being cold were coming back!

"Oh! What are we going to do with those shoes! Thou cannot wear such colors with lilac!" Tamaki proclaimed, "Mori, fetch a pair of white high-heels! That should match with what Umehara-san is wearing right?"

The twins nodded drearily and Mori sprinted to another unknown closet. He came back with said high-heels and Tamaki handed them to me. I sighed tiredly and put them on. I despise wearing high-heels and dresses, even if they make me look good. "There is about fifteen minutes until guests arrive. I highly recommend that you spend the time wisely, as in practicing the song," Kyouya reminded. I nodded and grabbed my violin.

The sheet music was laid out on a stand and I skimmed through it_. _I quickly memorized the dynamics and other things that would be crucial to the song. "Alright, I'm going to play it through once so please refrain from making any noise,"

The room fell silent and I started to play the song. I didn't look at the sheet music at all and used vibrato on every note, along with emotion. After ten intense minutes, I was finished. I sighed and slumped on the nearest chair. The entire club started to applaud and I grinned in response. "Ne, Shi-chan, will you be able to play again when activities start?" Hani inquired cutely.

"Yeah. There's five minutes until guests arrive and it takes time for all of the people who want to listen to arrive. Well, you could just tell them that I'll perform at," I glanced at my watch, "3:15. That would mean that I can have twenty minutes to rest. You guys should start to set up,"

The club scurried to and fro, dragging furniture and food with them. They were finished after about a minute, pretty amazing since they had to pull around tables, sofas, tea sets, and three tier strawberry cakes. Hmm, they seemed to be thin, but really were muscular. Amazing genetics. I should analyze their DNA sometime...

"Everyone get into position!" Tamaki yelled. The members scurried to the front of the door, and Mori placed a container full of rose petals at the top of the door. I rolled my eyes and groaned, "You know, that might prove to be a health hazard one day; the container might drop on someone's head and someone could be allergic to pollen, for example, me. By the way, it's extremely irritating to open the doors and be attacked my rose petals and be blinded by light. It might scare away a few customers, you know? People who are sensitive to light or aren't heavy in weight. Keep that in mind,"

Kyouya wrote a few things down in his notebook and snapped it shut, "Thank you for the feedback. This should help attract more customers and we can profit more now,"

I smiled fakely and said, "Oh, of course, I'd be glad to help!"

If I gained the favor of Kyouya and pals, they won't try to scam me. Having a facade that would make you seem cordial to the general public was something one learns from years of being assaulted by the media and fans. I prayed that there wouldn't be any fans here; having to sign autographs and take notes in most classes or vibrato insanely in another would kill my hand. I did not wish to have my hand amputated. Then I would have to start building other nerve circuits in my brain and become left handed. I wouldn't be able to play violin or do archery anymore. Might as well kick it.

I snapped back to reality when I noticed that I was staring at a wall and that customers were about to come in. I could easily tell from the screams of 'Kyaaa!' and 'I love you insert-host's-name here!'

2:57 – still a few minutes until the customers/fangirls came in. "Erm, where should I stay until I have to perform?" I whispered to Kyouya.

"Just stay behind the curtain. Tamaki will announce when you're going to perform and will accompany you with the piano," he gestured to a stage, complete with velvet curtains and lights. I gawked; they must have set it up when I was speculating random things. I walked around the setup and sat down on a velvet couch.

* * *

**Kaoru POV**

The fangirls flooded in and rushed to Kyouya to set up their designations. We patiently waited on our seats waiting for the first shift to come. Today we had more customers, at least 30% more. Was Umehara-san really that popular? I didn't check on foreign news that often, only for school reports. I glanced at Hikaru; he seemed to be thinking the same.

"I'm so bored. There's going to be a lot of designations today. We'll have to wait a while for them to finish," Hikaru yawned in Japanese. I nodded in reply and looked at Umehara-san. She was waiting behind the curtain, hugging her violin. Her expression was rather relaxed even though she was going to perform a very hard piece for violin, to a lot of people too. I realized that I was staring at her for quite a long time and quickly turned away.

"The new dress that Kaa-san designed seems to fit her, ne Hikaru?"

"Yeah."

We grinned; mission accomplished. Having Umehara-san wear one of the dresses from our Kaa-san's new line of clothes would promote it and attract more customers. I sighed and glanced at the clock on the wall- 3:08. Umehara-san was going to perform soon. The customers today started to sit down onto the chairs that we had lined up and Tamaki bounced to the stage and pompously announced in Japanese, "Oh lovely princesses that have come to our noble club, we have a special guest today! A genius at science, archery, and violin! We are proud to present, Shiroi Umehara!"

He sat down at the grand piano and Umehara-san walked onto the stage. The lights were turned on and the customers applauded. "Today I shall be performing Felix Mendelssohn's Violin Concerto in E minor, Op. 64; Allegro molto appasionato. Thank you for coming here to listen to me perform!" Umehara-san chimed in perfect Japanese. Eh? I thought she didn't speak Japanese! The customers applauded and there were whispers of 'Kyaa! She's so pretty!' and 'She better not steal my Tamaki!'

"Umehara-san asked me to tell her how to say that in Japanese so that the audience could understand. She memorized the phrase rather fast, especially for a foreigner," Kyouya explained.

"Oh. I see. That makes sense," Hikaru replied in a bored voice. I focused my eyes on the stage and saw that Umehara-san was adjusting her violin. She turned towards Tamaki and nodded.

* * *

**Shiroi POV**

I prayed that the first note would be in tune and drew my bow across my E string. I relaxed when I heard that it was and used vibrato. _Shift to first position, slur that, forte,_ I conducted to myself. I finished the first segment of the solo and waited for Tamaki to finish the background melody. It was interesting how he didn't even practice this piece on the piano during this time and played it perfectly. Also, he wasn't used to the rhythm that I was playing with and yet he kept up very well. The next line of solo came up and I played them with lots of wide vibrato. My wrist was irritating me; it was stiff and painful. _Relax more_, I instructed myself, _relax or else you'll get tendonitis or carpal tunnel and get your hand amputated_. I waited for Tamaki to finish the background melody again. I prayed that my face didn't display my pain; it would ruin the mood of the music.

* * *

**Kaoru POV**

I was stunned; I had never seen so much emotion imbued into one piece of solo work. Umehara-san was pulling off all the insane solos as if they were regular ones. I glanced at Hikaru - he seemed to be bored and wasn't paying attention. To be expected of him, really. It was quite endearing how he held grudges easily and in a childish manner. I refocused back to Umehara-san's performance. Tamaki seemed like he was going to fall over from exaustion, which made me wonder how Umehara-san was enduring. I stared at her; a gentle smile was playing on her lips and her hair fell onto her face and glimmered in the lights. She seemed fine, except her hand was moving a bit jerkily. I don't know much about playing violin, but that sort of motion isn't good. I made a mental note about it and poked Hikaru. "Psst. Look at the way her left hand is moving. Keep this in mind; we might be able to use it towards our advantage,"

We exchanged evil grins and I went back to staring at Umehara-san and Tono. They had been playing for about eight or nine minutes, meaning that the finale was coming soon. I felt some disappointment from missing out on a few seconds of the performance but got over it when I saw that Kyouya had a camcorder. Heh, I could just rewatch the recording.

Umehara-san played the final note and Tamaki stood up. The fangirls squealed loudly and I clapped. She performed quite well for someone who had a jerky hand. The two of them bowed and walked to the back of the stage, where the entire club was to meet them. I nodded towards Hikaru and we got up from our seats and followed Kyouya to the back.

"Shi-chan! You're so amazing!" Hani chirped.

She smiled and said, "If you think I'm amazing, you'll think Atsushi, my brother, is the god of string instruments. He can play this song on violin, cello, viola, and the bass. He taught me and my siblings how to play these instruments. I'm only good at violin so don't ask me to play viola or cello to you,"

"What other instruments do you play?" Haruhi asked with her head cocked to one side.

Umehara-san looked nervous and replied, "You won't laugh at me if I say this right?"

"We won't! Tell away!" everyone chimed.

She sighed and mumbled, "Guitar and bass. There."

Everyone stared at her while Tamaki dashed somewhere and grabbed a guitar out and exclaimed, "Will you give us an example? Please?"

He gave her puppy dog eyes and she sighed, "You're missing some equipment. The pick, an amp, a shoulder strap and one of the volume buttons."

Everyone's eyes turned towards the guitar. It indeed was missing one of the knobs and was covered in spider webs. One of the several that we had bought for a cosplay.

"Er, Tono, you took out the wrong one. We'll go fetch the Gibson Flying V instead of that..." Hikaru remarked.

Umehara-san sighed in relief, "Thanks. Oh, don't you have customers to attend to? The entire 1,845 that have packed into this room?"

I sweat dropped, "You counted?"

"What else am I supposed to do? My fingers remembered the movements and all so I didn't have to concentrate that much. I got bored after a while and needed to distract myself."

"Weren't you staring at your violin?"

"Yes. But I used my percephiral vision."

I shrugged and followed Hikaru to the costume closet to fetch the guitar and it's equipment.

"What'd you think of the performance?"

"...It was surprisingly good for someone so annoying."

"Same."

"Did you notice that when she was talking to us?"

"Yeah. She was holding her hand in a funny way."

"What should we do?"

"I don't know. We'll improvise, like always."

We grinned and high-fived. We pushed open the doors of the closet room and searched for the rack. "Found it!" Hikaru yelled.

"I got the amp and a pick."

"Is she going to be able to play?"

"We'll see."

We walked back to the gathering and gave her the stuff. "Here." we both said in a bored tone to mask the fact that we were scheming.

Umehara-san nodded and plugged the amp into the guitar and turned it on. Surprisingly, she put the guitar on lefty style. I exchanged quizzical looks with Hikaru. Did she outsmart us or is she actually a lefty? She set it at a low volume and began to play 'Shissou' by Last Alliance. Another exchange of confused looks. Did she know our favorite song or did she simply pick a random song? Umehara-san only played the beginning solo of it and abruptly stopped.

"There. Happy? I played something. Can I go home? I've got things to unpack, homework to do, and manga to read. You've got cutomers to attend to and other stuff. As soon as I change out of this dress and these shoes, I'm leaving, ok?"

"Ne, Shi-chan, why did you stop right before the vocals start?"

She paused for a second, smiled, then said, "I have things to do at my dorm room. I saw the time on my watch and decided to go. I guess it was just a very well timed coincidence."

Mori handed her a package and said, "Your clothes."

Umehara-san nodded and sprinted to the changing room.

"Akiho Michiyo is visiting the club today so it's better if we make things seem more normal. We've got customers to entertain so we should get started. Especially you Haruhi; you still have about 897 more customers to get and a total debt of 7,896,452 yen to repay."

With that, we walked off to the squealing fangirls and sat down.

* * *

**Shiroi POV**

Oh this was going to suck. My wrist throbbed like Hell and my ankle hurt from being on high-heels for too long. I was relieved that I managed to pull off the solo part of 'Shissou' lefty style otherwise I would have grandly sucked. I was pretty sure that I was jerking horribly during the vibrato. If Atsushi saw this, he would murder me, gore me through a stick, roast me, then throw my dead body onto train tracks.

I slipped out of the gown and torturous shoes and quickly changed into my Ouran uniform. What I was going to do about the make-up, I could ask Renge. Hani-sempai almost caught me there, when continue on and sing the vocal's part. I decided not to since I hadn't memorized the lyrics and I didn't want to embarrass myself in front of the children of influential and rich business leaders. Riko said that my singing was so-so and she volunteered to be vocalists when we played together as a band. I spotted a secret exit out of the room and slipped through. I didn't feel like giving autographs or being interrogated. I checked the corners and walked into the empty hallway.

As I walked through Ouran to my dorm, I thought of how my siblings and I all competed in contests to help earn money to support our family. Riko competed in singing contests, Atsushi competed in violin competitions, Fumio competed in judo, karate, and sprinting. Atsushi was definitely the sibling that I would credit for my musical attributes and Fumio I would credit for my athletic ones. Riko was probably the one who introduced me to guitar. Us four would perform quite often at a local Battle of the Bands and we usually were first or second place. There were also quartet competitions and I would play viola instead since Atsushi was amazing at violin, possibly better than Issac Stern.

Atsushi was very well known in the world of violin. Fumio won state championships for 100 meter dash and was going to go to Nationals. I won a Nobel Prize in Medicine. Riko was new to publicity, having discovered her passion four years ago, the time when most of us were starting to catch the media's attention. She was going to audition for American Idol next year. We all had a trail blazed in front of us to follow and we were walking boldly on it.

The media often asked why our parents didn't change jobs for better. We had asked our parents the same question as well. They simply smiled and said, "We are happy with our jobs. Even though it pays low, we enjoy it anyways. That's why we want you, our children, to do the same; find a career path that you truly enjoy and is secure."

A smile was upon my lips when I reached my dorm room. I pulled open the door and sighed; it had been a tiring first day.

* * *

_4:57: reached dorm and started homework_

_5:00 - unpacked stuff and finished homework_

_5:45 - started learning Japanese_

_6:00 - went to a noodle shop for dinner with Renge_

_6:33 - continued Japanese _

_6:35 - got pissed off at Rosetta Stone and asked Renge to teach me instead_

_6:36 - Renge began to teach_

_6:40 - lesson veered off topic and became a discussion about mecha anime and sim games_

_7:05 - continued with Rosetta Stone_

_11:45 - showered and went to bed_

* * *

I stared at my weird list. It looked as if I had a boring day. I didn't look at my DNA today. I also forgot to bother my family and friends. I groaned and my eyes went back to the ceiling. I wondered if tomorrow would be any better and drifted off to sleep.

* * *

_AUTHOR'S NOTE._

_I decided to try out a couple things this chapter. I think Kaoru may be a little OOC... Please review since it'll help me know how to make him in character. Also, Riko is supposed to be 14, not 13. . She's supposed to be an 8th grader since I thought that she seemed a bit too young. _

_Yesh. The Umehara family is full of win. (or Mary-Sue/Marty-Stu s) I started to write one thing and then it led to another and soon, the Umehara siblings pretty much became the Jackson 5, string quartet/rock band style. . If you're wondering why they aren't filthy rich._

_Anyhow, this chapter may need a lot of tweaks. Thanks to all of you guys who have been reviewing and favoriting/alerting this story! _

--Koori-chan


	6. Impressions

_Sorry that I posted this really late. The explanation is simple: I have a life. I think I'll be able to post every chapter within a month, which is very boring, so bear with me and PM me to correct some things. It'd be nice if I had a beta reader.... Anyhow, please read and review~ It helps me improve my writing, thus making a better chappie for you guys. In other words, if you review, you get a better story and everyone's a winner. I _**might**_ change to writing in normal POV sometime later, emphasis on the might. It seems that I write better that way. _

**

* * *

September 5th, 12:23 pm, Ouran Academy, Dojo Area**

**Kaoru POV  
**

I could not believe my eyes. Umehara-san was barking orders at the members of the archery club, now overrun by fanboys, in perfect Japanese. She didn't even have an accent! If she knew Japanese, why did Kyouya suggest that I be a translator for her? I was very annoyed.

"Psst. Kaoru," Hikaru hissed in my ear, "Take a look at that piece of paper Umehara's holding. I have a feeling that...."

"...it could be something important. Lets steal it from her and take a quick peek. It should contain something interesting," I ended. We snuck through the room and tip-toed behind Umehara-san. I nodded towards Hikaru and I lunged for the piece of paper.

Unfortunately, Umehara-san dodged me and I ended up faceplanting on the floor. "What the hell are you two doing! You aren't part of this club... Or do you want to join? I'll offer extensive training..." She hissed. Umehara-san had a malicious glint in her eyes, similar to Kyouya's.

"Say, Umehara-san, why do you need Kaoru as a translator if you can speak Japanese? It seems kinda pointless, wouldn't you think?" Hikaru asked in Japanese. Umehara-san's face promptly became emotionless and she glanced at the piece of paper. After scanning through the entire page, she looked a bit crestfallen. "Sorry, I don't know what you're saying. Translate please?"

I sighed and said, "Why do you need me as a translator if you can already speak Japanese so fluently? It seems rather pointless,"

"Eh? I don't speak Japanese fluently at all. In fact, I had Renge translate a few phrases into Romanji and I wrote them down on this piece of paper. I memorized most of them but I'm just keeping this with me just in case I missed something. Sorry if I confused you two. Anyhow, can I talk to you two later? I have a club to run,"

She turned around and started to bark orders at the massive group of boys, who had been glaring at us while we were talking to her. I rolled my eyes and Hikaru stuck his tongue out at them.

"I never knew that fanboys were exactly like fangirls. Did you see the way that they were swooning over every word she said?" Hikaru laughed.

"I know! It looked like she was running a one person host club! We might lose business if she starts attracting girls!" I pointed out. We burst into hysterical laughter and walked towards the cafeteria.

* * *

**Shiroi POV**

Disgusting. Utterly disgusting. The newest members of the archery club were doing nothing but swooning and lounging around. They were being nothing but obstacles. "Alright. Practice is over for today. So, I have one little question; who here actually knows physics?" I yelled at the group in Japanese. It was one of the phrases that I had prepared just in case.

The room fell silent. Only a handful of members raised their hands, some of my classmates in class A. "You three, come over here. If you were a member before I was, stand next to these three,"

The ten members came and looked like they were about to burst from pride. Seriously. What was wrong with these people! I rolled my eyes and continued, "Now, the rest of you are seemingly hopeless. If you didn't come to this club for archery, then leave. Immediately!"

At least half of the remaining members left the room. Good. I didn't want too many people here. "For those of you who are serious about archery and actually want to participate in activities, you will have to pass a test. A test that I had passed in order to become the Captain of this club. Are you prepared? Those who aren't, step aside,"

I drew my bow and shot a bullseye dead center. "The test is for you to shoot better than what I scored. If you do, I'll let you into the club and you will become Captain,"

One of the original club members gasped, "Are you serious?"

I snorted, "Of course. These people are useless otherwise. And I'm sure they'll follow through with their uselessness. I doubt anyone, much less if they do not know physics, will actually split my arrow,"

The first of the newbies took his shot and missed the target entirely. I gestured for him to leave and he seemed crestfallen. The rest seemed very uneasy about their choice and a few more left. Now there were only five or so people willing to try their luck. I checked my watch - ten more minutes until fifth period.

The next four tried and failed, and the final one took his shot. The arrow bounced off of mine and it fell to the ground. My arrow stayed put. "That was a nice shot. However, you didn't split through mine or even dislodge it. So, you have failed. Sorry," I sighed. I finally got rid of all of the fanboys.

I yawned and said to the club members, "Well, this session is officially over. Get changed and leave the dojo immediately," I quickly slipped into my Ouran uniform, the hideous garment, and dashed through the door. I didn't want to be late for my history class. I needed to maintain a good image in this school. Especially since the children of companies that I might want to work for were attending as well.

* * *

I found myself at the doors of the 3rd Music Room debating whether I was going in or not. I wondered how I even thought of coming. I sighed and decided, _Well, if I'm going to maintain a good image, I should at least become friends with Suoh, Ootori, Hitachiin, Haninozuka and Morinozuka. If I leave a good impression, then I'll be insured a job...._

I pushed open the doors and ducked, in fear of being attacked by rose petals. Instead, I found myself watching Kyouya talk to.... Aiko? The track star? No. It was Akiho Michiyo, daughter of Terasu Michiyo, founder of the Pinapple company that made computer hardware. Akiho really did resemble Aiko, perhaps they were the same person. Or they were twins. Either way, it was worth looking into. I made a mental note and focused back on the conversation.

They were discussing something about a start-up, perhaps it was Akiho Corporations. Kyouya proposed a deal, which she rejected and Kyouya appeared to lose his temper.

Suddenly, Tamaki sprinted out of the room dragging Haruhi and Mori gave Hani what appeared to be a headlock. Then, when I thought things wouldn't get any crazier, two groups of police forces appeared.

"What the heck is with these rich people?" I muttered under my breath. Akiho abruptly left the room, passing me, and Kyouya banged his fist upon the table. I cautiously walked in and Kyouya cleared his face of all emotion. "Irashaimasse! Are you here to perform again?"

"No, I'm here to make a designation," I mumbled. Tamaki appeared out of nowhere and proclaimed, "Oh! Welcome, princess! Who would you like to designate? It all relies on what type you favor! Do you like the prince type?" he pointed to himself.

"I think I'll just spend a few minutes with each host and see if they interest me," I said. Tamaki seemed very happy at my comment and exclaimed, "Come this way, princess! Why don't you try me first?"

I grimaced at the innuendo, and quickly covered it up with a smile. I sat down on a couch next to three other girls and Tamaki began hosting. All he did was flirt a lot, which wasn't very interesting to me. I walked over to Kyouya's table. He didn't have any designations, which I found odd because everyone else had several girls at their tables. "So, what do you do as a host?" I asked.

"I don't host, actually. I usually am in charge of the designations and I take care of the spending and income," he responded while typing on his laptop.

"About Akiho Michiyo, there is one way to get her company. But it's not practical, but it'll work under certain circumstances," I said. Kyouya stopped typing.

"I don't think you'll want to use it, but if you really are desperate for her start-up, just marry her. I'm sure you'll be able to without it, seeing how intelligent and capable you are, but if you truly are set on marrying her, then you have approximately two months to get her to fall in love with you. And when you turn 18, ask the question."

With that said, I walked towards Hani and Mori's table. Hani saw me and started rolling around in my lap. The fangirls were squealing in delight, mentioning how cute Hani was. "Shi-chan! Do you want to hug Usa-chan?" He held out a pink plush bunny to me and I started to squeal. "Aww! It's so cute!" I hugged Usa-chan happily and I was pretty sure I looked ridiculous. He discovered my weak spot; plushies. "Do you want some cake?" he asked.

"No thank you," I said and glanced at Mori. He was watching over Hani like a hawk and was smiling almost faintly.

I walked over to Haruhi's table, where Renge was fawning over her. I immediately changed directions, in fear of seeing something more gay and found myself watching a twincest scene. I felt my stomach acid and lunch coming up my esophagus and covered my mouth. I walked towards Kyouya and asked faintly, "Where's the bathroom?"

He pointed towards a room a few yards to the left and I decided, "Meh. Too lazy," and promptly threw my back against a chair, aiming for a pressure point and fainted.

* * *

**Kaoru POV**

"Aieeeeee! Umehara-san fainted!" the fangirls screamed. Tamaki stood up and shouted, "Mori! Take her to the nurses office. Kyouya, what happened?"

Kyouya looked surprised and responded, "Ah. You guys didn't know? Umehara-san gets very grossed out by gay or lesbian people. She was smart enough to faint instead of throwing up on our floor. Then, she'd have to perform again to pay off the cleaning fee,"

I glanced at Hikaru and I sweatdropped. She _was_ looking at our table when we were doing a twincest scene. That was probably what triggered it. I felt a twinge of guilt and nudged Hikaru, "Ne, Hikaru, we should apologize to her."

"Huh? Why? We didn't do anything wrong!"

"But she did faint because of our twincest scene..."

"Oh, fine. You and your regrets,"

I shrugged and the two of us walked towards the nurses office. When we opened the doors, I noticed that Umehara-san woken up from her fainting spell and was sitting on the bed. The moment she saw us, she shrieked and hid behind Mori, who was expressionless. "Stay away from me you freaks! I'm not going to treat you guys if you ever get some sort of STD or a messed up child with ten legs and an extra head!" she screeched in English.

Hikaru and I facepalmed. "If we were truly gay..." Hikaru started.

"...we wouldn't sell our brotherly love to fangirls and flaunt it in such a flamboyant manner," I finished.

"B-b-but the weird people at the gay pride rallies in San Francisco..... Ah, forget it. I sound like some silly child with some unreasonable fear of vegetables. Well, I don't want to waste my lunch by throwing up in the Host club since watching Renge swoon over Haruhi is disgusting and watching your twincest is disgusting as well, so I'm going to designate Hani-sempai or Kyouya-sempai. I think I'll wander around the hosts for a while too," She replied.

"Oh, you're really nice. If the fangirls heard you...."

"...they'd kill you about twenty times for insulting what they go moe over."

"I know. Let's just say, I have experience," she smiled.

"You've been killed by fangirls before?" I asked. What the heck was she talking about?

Umehara-san waved a hand and sighed, "Ask Renge. She loves to tell stories, you know? Anyways, I think I'll go back to my dorm and do homework. I'll be visiting the club again, tomorrow."

With that said, she swung her bag over her shoulder and walked down the hallway. "Well, we have to break the news to Tamaki. He was so intent on getting a new customer..." Hikaru grinned.

"Yeah, Tono is probably going to sit in a corner for about an hour or so. That was an odd conversation, wasn't it?"

"Mm, it's kinda weird how she's extremely homophobic. I thought that Americans were all like, 'WE LOVE GAYS BECAUSE LOVE IS LOVE'. Here in Japan, we don't really care...."

"Speaking of which, do you think she knows Renge? I think she does. Renge might have some interesting info that we can..use. How about it?" Hikaru reminded me.

"Sure." I grinned back.

We opened the door and everyone else was hosting as if nothing happened. "Aw, I guess we'll have to ask after club hours." I sighed. Umehara-san had a rather interesting background...

"Oi, Renge! C'mover here for a second!" Hikaru yelled. That works too.

"Hai~ Do you need advice on how to make the twincest more moe-worthy?"

"Nah, we wanna ask you how you know Umehara-san."

"Oh! You picked a very good story. Picture this: it is Anime Expo 2006 in Los Angeles, the center is packed with people, and today a new band was performing. Umehara-san happened to be in it. Along with her siblings, they began to play an UVERworld song and she handled the riffs and was also singing. The music was very moe, especially with how she and her band members looked. She looked totally different from what she looks like now. Oh! I'll show you a picture-"

"NO WAY IN HELL!" screeched Umehara-san as she tackled Renge. She attempted to grab the picture except I intervened and caught it first. I flipped it over and Hikaru and I were pretty shocked. The photo depicted Umehara-san and three other people dressed in goth clothes and Umehara-san's hair was in a pixie cut with long bangs and she was wearing too much makeup. Way too much. Surprisingly, she looked kind of... fashionable.

"Renge....I....will....murder you twenty times, disembowel you, take your brains out, feed them to zombies, take your intestines and make them into jumpropes, I'll burn your collection of doujinshi and I'll torch you, lynch you and make you admit that you're totally gay and make you wear really drab un moe worthy clothes and! **I'll make sure that you'll never be able to cosplay ever again,**" the girl cackled insanely. Renge screeched out incoherent words like a banshee and Umehara-san glared at her. This was...very... otaku-like.

"I think I know why she said that she had personal experience with otakus and moe...." I started.

"That's because she's an otaku as well." Hikaru finished. "I never expected the reason to be so boring. Meh. That was interesting while it lasted."

Umehara-san turned around. "....GAH!" she shrieked and immediately straightened herself and somehow made her self look less insane and more.. proper or something. Odd.

"Say, Umehara-san, what does your band do anyways?" Hikaru started. He had that glint in his eyes again. I was interested as well.

"Ahh, not much. Just doing dubs of certain Japanese or English songs. And writing some. They're not as good quality, since we don't have fancy recording devices or AutoTune so it's more, simple. Oh. Here. I have the songs in my mp3 player," she sighed. Although she didn't say anything about it, she was probably homesick, telling by the look in her eyes.

"So, can we borrow it for a day? We promise that we'll return it," I smiled. From what Renge described, it was probably interesting. Hikaru seemed intent as well.

"Aa, but that's not the entire thing. You need to see the recordings as well," Renge hissed in Japanese. She put a DVD into Hikaru's hands. It was labeled something in... otaku language: excessive use of emotes, puffy letters, and drawings of chibi characters.

"Recordings? They filmed themselves playing?" Hikaru sweatdropped.

"Yeah. Shiroi-chan said that if you record yourself and watch it, then you'll see all the mistakes you make." Renge explained.

"Eh. Well, club hours are long past so...." I started.

"Go away please." Hikaru bluntly finished.

"You're so cruel!" Renge cried dramatically while running away. Seriously, she was rather like Tamaki.

With that done, we walked outside and signaled for our limo.

* * *

**5:00, Hitachiin Mansion...**

"Ne, Kaoru, you wanna listen to it now? I'm bored."

"Same."

Hikaru popped the DVD into the TV in our room and we watched. It started, unsurprisingly, with the squeals of fans, both boys and girls, which was rather disturbing, seeing how Umehara-san's band had two girls and two boys. The band was dressed in a goth-like style, the two boys in black t-shirts with camo print cargo pants and the two girls dressed in tank tops, both with black lace and combat boots. They were dressed pretty well, in terms of fashion, however.....

"They're wearing too much make-up." Hikaru stated.

"Enough to look like geishas." I grinned.

It was true, the girls were wearing crimson lipstick and way too much mascara. Their faces also appeared to be rather pale under the lights.

Umehara-san had told us at the club room, that she didn't sing. However, for this song, she was the lead singer. "Konnichiwa, cosplayers and all! We're the Ame no Koe, also known as the Voice of the Rain. Our first song will be 'Haritsuke no Misa' from the anime 'Chaos;Head'. We don't write most of our songs, so don't sue us! I hope you enjoy our performance!"

The lead singer was definitely not Umehara-san. Her eyes were a different color and she had a very high voice. The two girls switched places.

"Is that Umehara-san? The girl with the punk hair cut?" I twitched. The hair was cut rather messily. A non-professional wouldn't notice the fact that her hair was lopsided and the side bangs weren't congruent.

"Apparently. Oh. They're starting."

Umehara-san nodded and the drummer tapped the first beats. And so began the crazy guitar solos and Umehara-san's singing. The song was rather low, however, she sung them with ease. And she was singing in perfect Japanese.

"Do you think that she used the weird Romanji tactic again for this?" I pondered.

"Proly. Shh. She's pretty 'lite at playing guitar and singing at the same time." Hikaru giddily said.

The music was amazing. They appeared to be playing perfectly in sync and in tune.

"Our next song is 'Hitohira Hanabira' from 'Bleach'." Umehara-san announced. The crowd cheered excitedly. The two girls switched once again.

Surprisingly, the Hani-sempai-like girl had a lower singing voice than what I had expected. I thought she'd sound like Yui Makino. The crowd was screaming the lyrics with them.

"Thank you for watching our performance!" the two girls grinned.

"ENCORE! ENCORE! ENCORE!" the crowd hollered. The two looked at each other. Umehara-san smiled. "We'll perform 'Aozora no Namida' from 'Blood+' as the encore. Only if you sing with us though!"

Umehara-san was back in front.

The crowd screamed, alright. They practically redefined screaming. When the song ended, the group bowed and then rushed off the stage and the recording ended.

"They're pretty good." Hikaru stated. This was unusual since it took quite a lot to impress him. I nodded.

"We have something to bother her about now. And we can make her attract more customers." I grinned evilly.

"You're thinking what I'm thinking, right?"

"That's given."

* * *

**6:00, Ouran Dorm Complex #4, Room 404...**

"Ne, Shiroi, tomorrow's your birthday right?" Tsuki squealed over the phone. I turned the volume down even more in fear of Tsuki's voice breaking my phone's speaker.

"Yup. I wonder if anyone will even know... I mean, I've only been here... a week? I haven't done anything much... so, I should be safe from crazy fanboys-"

"WHAT YOU HAVE FANBOYS. I FEEL SO LEFT OUT!" Tsuki hollered.

"Please stop talking like Billy Mays." I groaned.

"Huh?"

"As in, **'HI I'M BILLY MAYS AND I TALK IN ALL CAPS....IN BOLD TOO!!!!!**'" I yelled.

"Ow. Don't kill my speakers."

"Exactly."

"Anyhow, I'm going to call my family now, my parents should be home by now. If they aren't, then... C-c-c-combo breaker!" I laughed. Tsuki was almost like a twin to Riko, except taller, and probably smarter. And she can actually cook.

"Bye!"

I hung up and dialed again. "Moshi, moshi?" Atsushi answered.

I started to giggle at how oddly he said it. "It's me. Kaa-san and Tou-san are home, right?"

"Yeah."

"Speaker phone?"

"Err, you should call back later- Hii! Shi-chan! I can't believe you're turning 16!" Atsushi was probably tackled by Riko. Crazy little kid.

"I feel so old. Put the phone on speaker phone. I wanna talk to everyone." I sighed.

"Ok. Everyone! Shiroi called us!"

"Shiroi, has school been going well?" my mother asked.

"Yeah, I'm taking their college courses. And I have to take English. I don't know why, but I have to take it because all first years are required to take it. Even though I know English. Hell, I'm practically teaching the class because the teacher is a lazy bum."

"How about their food? It's mainly European foods, right?" my father asked excitedly. He was fond of cooking different types of foods.

"Yup. Mostly Italian or French, which I both like but I only like the French desserts. Italian food is good, but after a while, you get a bit tired of pasta. I hope they have meat, otherwise I'll have to go buy vitamins and other stuff at the local market. And I'll feel very illiterate."

"You should take Japanese." Fumio pointed out.

"Yes, but you know how most language classes are.... they usually are bad. And the teacher is male so I don't want to come home talking like a butch or something. That would be....gay." I smiled.

"When are you coming back?" Kaa-san asked worriedly.

"Probably, um, let's see.... Thanksgiving time. Apparently their Winter Break starts around that time too."

"We have to wait so long for food nowadays since we have to wait for Tou-san to come home and cook and all that hassle... Riko fails at cooking- ow!- and Fumio only knows how to make..... rice. I know how to make... ramen." Atsushi groaned. Aww, he actually missed my vitamin enriched food.

"So, how have things been going there?" I was rather curious.

"Um, pretty well. There are still some annoying reporters here and there, but it's much lower. Thank god singing doesn't make people flock to your house like ants to a sugar cube...." Riko sighed.

"....Or so you think." I grinned.

"Anyways, Tsuki, Shiori, and Kelly are pretty sad, so you should call them." Kaa-san added.

"Already done."

"Well, we're going to eat dinner now, so bye!" Tou-san said in a sing-song voice. He was always happy whenever he was going to cook.

"Bye."

They hung up and I flopped on my bed. I did quite a lot today. Looked for that allele in my DNA, talked to family, talked to friends, now all I needed to do was....eat. My stomach growled impatiently, after hearing the word 'dinner' and 'food' a few times. I glanced at the unused kitchen in our suite, it'd be nice if I could cook something to eat, but I didn't have any ingredients. Then I had an idea.

"Renge, where's the nearest supermarket?"

"Ah, the one near Haruhi's house. It's about... three miles from here." Renge yawned. She was busy drawing her doujinshi on..... something.

"Do you have Haruhi's phone number?"

"Of course I do! Why wouldn't I?" she squealed, "Here!"

I looked at the piece of paper and dialed it. Apparently Renge had memorized Haruhi's phone number. I ignored the thought in fear of taking an unecessary field trip to the bathroom and waited for Haruhi to pick up.

"Moshi moshi? Fujioka residence." Haruhi answered tiredly in Japanese. I could understand Japanese pretty well by now, so I understood everything she said.

"Hi! It's me, Shiroi Umehara, from your English class. I performed for the Host Club once and I'd like to visit the supermarket near your home since my dorm room has a kitchen and I feel like eating something traditional for once instead of all that fancy European food. Can I come over?" I asked in English. Hopefully she knows what I'm saying.

"Ah, ok! I happen to need groceries as well so this is quite convenient."

"Ok. I'll meet you at your house at... 6:30. Is that fine?"

"Yeah. I'll give you my address."

"You don't need to; Renge knows where you live."

"Eep! Otakus are scary..." Haruhi mumbled..

"Bye!" I hung up.

It was 6:20 by now, so I changed out of my pajamas and into some clothes. I grabbed my purse, which had my phone and mp3 player, and said, "Renge, I'm going to Haruhi's house."

"Alright. Takahashi, escort her please."

Renge's burly chauffeur led me to Renge's family's shiny black car and I sat in the back. This was rather awkward, since the people I saw outside the tinted windows were staring at the car funny. I quickly ran up the stairs of Haruhi's apartment complex and knocked on the door.

"Ah! Umehara-san, you're early. Do you want to go now?" Haruhi asked politely.

"Um, sure. Your house is really organized." I commented. It was true; the floor was spotless and there weren't any stray papers or wires all over the place. Like in my house, despite my mild OCD.

Haruhi closed the door behind her and we set off. "Haruhi, how'd a girl like you get into the Host Club?" I asked. I was rather curious, seeing how unsocial she was in class.

"Aa, that happened because I broke a vase that they were going to sell. And I have to pay off that debt by working for them." she sighed. The girl had a faint smile on her face, her eyes distant in the past. The hosts were undoubtedly good people if they could sway someone like Haruhi.

"I see."

The walk was rather short, seeing that we reached the market by the time I finished replying to Haruhi. The market smelled of fish, fresh fruits and cooked food. Those three do not blend very well together. I almost felt my gastric juices coming up, but I tamed them by thinking of the prospect of food that was soon to be cooked in my dorm room. "Hey, I'll meet you at the third cash register, ok?"

"Are you sure you won't get lost?" Haruhi called. I was surprised at how blunt the girl was, it was remarkable how she actually kept a steady flow of fangirls. I twitched and called back, "Yeah. I don't get lost easily." Or so I hoped.

I wandered along the aisles of spices. The dorm room had soy sauce, ketchup, mustard, salt, and pepper. The regular things. The kitchen was equipped with a pressure cooker, an oven, a microwave, and a few frying pans. I could make stew and fried rice with sauteed vegetables. It wasn't much but at least it was a change. I made a mental note to plan out my meals when I got home. I quickly found the necessary ingredients with my newfound power of understanding Japanese and rushed to the cash register. Haruhi wasn't there yet. I paid for my groceries and waited.

When I finally saw her, she was carrying about, eight bags full of groceries. I was amused at how oddly she walked even though she carried four on each side, balancing her. I silently chided at the thought of how similar she was to the typical female anime protagonist – brunette, short, huge-eyed, and clumsy. "How many people are you feeding?" I smiled.

"Two." Haruhi answered while paying for her groceries.

"Does your dad eat a lot?"

"No, we just keep it in the refrigerator."

"Oh. I'm just buying what I need for today and tomorrow's meals. I haven't planned out what I'm actually going to eat yet, so it wouldn't be wise to buy all the things I need on a whim."

"I see. I originally thought that you were going to use all that for the entire week. Are you cooking for Renge too?"

"No, I just eat a lot."

Haruhi looked shocked and I laughed at her expression. She was going to get wrinkles if she made such drastic expressions.

We dragged ourselves back to Haruhi's place and I waved, "Bye Haruhi! I'll shop with you sometime again!"

As Renge's chauffeur drove, I noticed that the Hosts were watching the car. I sweatdropped and ducked down. What were they? Stalkers? Creepy fanboys? I was rather disturbed and my stomach growled loudly.

The Ouran dormitories weren't as neat and organized as I thought. Maybe rich people had a fetish for complicated floor plans that got girls lost. Probably. I ran through the halls to my room because I was unbelievably hungry. I silently instructed myself, _Right, right, left, stairs, left, forward, stairs, right, left, ten steps to the left_. I hoped that no one saw because running in the dormitory halls is strictly against school rules. At least a suspension is better than having me die from starvation; I swear, my stomach was attempting to develop an ulcer, forcing me to run like Aiko in 100 meter races. Food was a very motivating topic. Maybe I should sign up for track...

I finally reached my room, out of breath, and fumbled for my keys. I crammed it into the keyhole, which was probably would've screamed in agony if my life was a Disney movie, thrust open the door and dashed to the kitchen in record time, almost running into a wall and breaking my skull. Why? The Hitachiin twins were sitting on _my_ bed casually, looking through _my_ stuff, and chatting with Renge. _What the hell was going on?_

* * *

Koori-chan~

You can find the songs that Shiroi listens to by visiting /playlist/12117983755/standalone (hosted by Playlist [. com] )


	7. Birthday

_Hello! It's been forever since I've updated :( Anyhow, I hope that this chapter, 3 months behind xD, is good enough. Please review, since it fine tunes the story. Enjoy!_

* * *

**September 5th, 6:45 pm, Ouran Dorm Complex #4, Room 404...**

"Oh. Renge, why didn't you tell me that we were going to have visitors?" I asked as patiently as I could._ Must leave a good impression, must leave a good impression.._. I silently chanted to myself.

"I did! I told you that I let the twins borrow that DVD recording of you playing and that they had to return it to me by tomorrow!" Renge nervously squeaked. Did she just mention a DVD... of me in my delinquent years?

"Oh. May I take it?" I politely asked the twins. _Please return it and don't make any comments on it...._ I prayed in my head.

"Actually, we were planning to show the rest of the Host Club this. We just came here to ask Renge if we were allowed to." Hikaru grinned evilly. Keeping a straight face, I swore loudly in my head, cursing Renge and my fate.

"Renge, don't you know that there is a law against taking videos or photos of people without their permission? I can sue you for this." I calmly stated. Oh, the things that I'll do to her when they leave.

"Really? Um, but, uh, I think that my parents can bail me out... yeah! That won't do anything!" she squealed like a pig. Renge could act like an infant sometimes.

I rolled my eyes and retorted, "But then,your reputation would still be tarnished. Then, no one will read your doujinshi. And you'll live in poverty on the streets and..." Dang! I was getting into an otaku rant; the exact opposite of what I wanted to do! This wasn't going too well.

"Ne, Kaoru, Hikaru, what do you want to do with the DVD? I don't think that the Hosts will enjoy this kind of thing... It's embarrassing," I feigned a guilty expression and blushed, all while looking at the ground.

"Eh? It's not going to do much. Besides, we already know you're an otaku. Tamaki likes these kinds of things too, and lately he's been all emo since Haruhi's been shunning him." Hikaru bluntly stated.

I was dumbstruck. "What?" Oh no. This can't be happening. This is BAD. The atmosphere was now really awkward, primarily because of me and Renge.

I gave a faux gasp, "Haruhi can't possibly be that kind of gir-"

I was cut off by Kaoru tackling, or glomping, me and since I was carrying about fifteen pounds of groceries, I fell backwards.

Renge screamed......not about moe, but about my faceplant. She had expected something more embarrassing, which I'm glad didn't happen. "Ow, what the hell was that about!" I grumbled into the carpet.

"Hikaru pushed me." Kaoru shrugged. I raised a discerning eyebrow and picked up my much abused bags of food-to-be.

"Oh! Shi-chan! Are you going to cook dinner tonight?" Renge said in a Hani-sempai-like way.

"You can cook?" Hikaru said incredulously.

I shot him a glare and responded, "Of course. If I didn't know, then I'd be dead by now. I mean, none of my siblings can cook in large enough quantities. And they don't know how to cook in general."

"How many siblings do you have?" Kaoru tilted his head.

"Fo- I mean three." I mentally chided myself for letting something like that slip. "Well, I'm going to go cook, so please refrain from bothering me...."

I began washing the vegetables and slicing the meat when the doorbell rang. "Renge! Who is it?" I called.

"Wakarenai! Do it yourself! I have a doujinshi to draw!" she screeched. I groaned, dropped my knife, and yanked on the handle.

The delivery man started to blabber things in Japanese I heard "package" and other random things. I sweat dropped and looked at Kaoru with a pleading look. I hadn't studied about work in Japan yet..

Kaoru sighed and walked to the door. "He says that the package is for you." I smirked. It wasn't really a package – it was more like a giant box.

I bowed and said, "Arigato gozaimasu!"

The delivery man seemed very relieved and almost ran to the stairs. He didn't notice the elevator at all.

"Poor guy, did he actually carry this...box up for flights of stairs?" Renge giggled.

"Probably. He didn't see the elevator. At all. Even though it was pretty much four steps away."

"What the heck is in it anyways?" Hikaru asked.

"Um," I searched for the label, "It's from...my family!"

I squealed and ran back to the kitchen, grabbed the knife, and lunged at the box. Renge screamed again, and the twins looked at me as if I were insane, which was partially true.

My family had sent me my plushies, my guitar and its amp, a family picture, the CD that my siblings and I made together, a poster of Gilbert and Break from Pandora Hearts, and of course, a birthday card.

"_Dear Shiroi, _

_WE MISS YOU SO MUCH. Ame no Koe isn't complete without you o !!!! And we rarely eat good food now T_T HAPPY BIRTHDAYYYY 3! Haha! You're old now! _

_ --Riko-chan~_

_Shiroi,_

_--Miss your food. Happy B-day. Yellowcard rules. Atsushi. _

_Shiroi: Dang, we need your food. x) Ramen isn't filling at all. Happy birthday! Fumio._

_Shiroi – We miss you so much! How's school? The family isn't complete without you and your funny little comments! There isn't anyone there to devour all of Tou-san's sashimi. You left these at home! Happy birthday! Okaa-san and Tou-san"_

I smiled tearfully, holding the card/poster/piece of paper and arm away from me in fear of ruining the embodiment of their love....of my cooking. Nevertheless, it was the best present I've received so far. All of them signed the card and left their little comments. Mainly about my cooking. I immediately grabbed the tape dispenser and taped up the card, the poster and the family picture.

"Renge! Come here! Look at the poster of Gilbert and Break.. Where did Riko find this! It's made of... of... moe!" I squealed excitedly. My sister had her ways of finding out which characters I thought were moe-worthy and finding posters of them. Renge literally dropped her pen on the floor and sprinted to my side.

"Kyaa! I agree!" Renge squealed back. I then got up and dumped my plushies on my ginormous Cal-King sized four-poster bed. My room was now complete. Then I remembered my last re-gift.

"Ah!" I quickly unwrapped my guitar from the excessive bubble wrap and plugged it in. "Wait, the walls are soundproof right?" I nervously prayed. I didn't want to break any school rules

"Yeah. Why?" Renge frowned.

"This." I began to play the solo part of "Wana" by The Back Horn. The twins stared at me. I stared back. Then it clicked in my head. My cover was blown.

Then I noticed. The twins were staring at me like how Hani-sempai stares at a giant strawberry cake painstakingly decorated with icing bunnies – admiration. Thank God that Renge was the only one who wasn't easily impressed...by 3-D people.

It was rather awkward so I tentatively placed my guitar on its stand and dashed back to the kitchen with the knife in hand.

I sighed. They probably thought that I was weird and unlady like and wasn't fit for the business world and etc...

I then proceeded to lodge the knife in the piece of beef angrily. And scare Kaoru, who was apparently behind me, which led to a very awkward silence.

"Uh, what do you want?" I inched closer to the stove holding the knife protectively.

"You know, you don't have to act all proper and stuff in front of us. I get we're the posterity of influential businessmen, but you don't have to act that way all the time." Kaoru calmly said. I almost gasped. He was straight on target, however the heck he found that out. Was it too obvious of me, or did Kyouya relay this message. Kaoru definitely couldn't have been able to find out since, twins being eerily alike, Hikaru was blunt as a prehistoric weapon.

I took a deep breath and continued, "....Yeah, but if I act differently in public then I'll be considered and labeled weird and then there goes my job opportunity and then I won't be able to pay for _that_ and then I won't forgive myself...Ack." I ranted once again. I was irritated with myself beyond belief for letting my otaku side go wild so many times today and proceeded to sigh.

"Ne, when you're in the Host club, there's no need to do all that. Everyone already is weird enough, and the club was founded on the sole purpose of making girls happy. So, just be yourself on campus. You can be all proper and stuff in front of our parents and all." And then he flashed me a grin. A very moe-worthy grin. In terms of Renge, I'd say that I could eat twenty bowls of rice with that grin.

"Kyaa!" I screamed and glomped him, "That grin was made of moeee!"

Kaoru twitched and I immediately let go of him. Agh. My otaku self took over a bit to violently... I fervently

And so I chatted with him about the hosts and the club the entire time I was cooking. I learned more about Haruhi in general. Who would've known that the reason for the Host Club was actually quite..normal. It wasn't as messed up as I had assumed it to be.

"Ne, Shiroi?"

"Mm?"

Kaoru leaned and whispered in my ear, "Only the hosts know that Haruhi is a girl. So, please don't let anyone else know."

I nodded. "Ne, food's ready!"

Renge yawned and stretched. "Sheesh, my pen broke mid stroke! And then it spilled over my final page, which took me forever!"

"Um, ok. Good for you,"

"Ne, Shiroi, do you think that you've cooked a bit too much?" Hikaru stared at the plates uncertainly.

"Hm? Nope. I assure you, I eat a lot. There won't even be leftovers." I grinned.

As I had predicted, the three rich 'uns only lasted one plate. Me? I finished the rest of the six dish dinner that I had cooked.

All the while, they stared at me while I ate. I can't really blame them since I do eat like a monster. Riko once said that I ate in a fashion similar to the Cookie Monster's – fast-paced face stuffing action. I finished in ten or so minutes, eating in said fashion, and happily patted my stomach, declaring, "Gochisou-sama!*"

"Ha! I told you! She eats like a pig!" Renge pompously screamed. The twins groaned and handed her 1,000 Yen. And then the doorbell rang again.

"Hey, guys, I'm going to hide under the table because my gut feeling tells me I'm going to be massively glomped and stared at, so," I crawled under the coffee table, "Ignore me please."

Renge shrugged and opened the door. The sound of the hosts chattering in Japanese flooded the room and so did some crashing noises that signaled impending doom for me. If anyone broke anything, rich boy or not, they were going to have to pay in double. I indignantly sighed and inched out from under the table.

What had crashed was, in fact, some giant boxes and a nicely wrapped package that the hosts had brought. I peeked from the walk-in closet that I had crawled into from the table and saw that there were five more ginormous boxes. I leaned closer for a better look and then Hani spotted me.

"Shi-chan!" Hani attached himself to me in a koala-like manner, and Mori then proceeded to carry me and Hani out to the living room. Tamaki gasped. I raised an eyebrow and stared back.

"Umehara-san! You....." he started. I braced myself for the usual "weirdo", "creep", and any other derogatory term that expressed what people had against otakus. And I'm not even a closet otaku... that is, until I came here.

"ARE COMPLETELY AMAZING! It's exactly like in those TV shows where there are runaway girls that secretly play the guitar in a Yakuza club in order to earn money and pay for their little siblings and-"

"EH?" I totally didn't expect that to come from Tamaki. Pickup lines were a likely possibility, but.... AN OTAKU RANT ON A DRAMA? I think I'm stranded on another planet. I blame the high tech planes for speeding past the sound barrier and accidentally sending me to the D- Dimension or something....

"See?" Kaoru hissed, "I told you he's also into being... otaku."

"He is soo not an otaku! It's completely different when it comes to anime in comparison to dramas!" I hissed back. Tamaki was continuing on his rant, despite my rude interjection, and no one was listening. It was kind of pitiful how even his big, happy, "family" of friends didn't really care about his obsessions. And I was still quite insulted by the fact that he called me a "runaway girl that secretly plays a guitar in a Yakuza club." Really.

"Ano, Tamaki-senpai..."

"-and I can't believe the writers are still producing that show even though it's been five seasons- Yes, Umehara-hime?"

I twitched at the honorary tag at the end of my last name and continued, "One, I'm a scholarship student at Ouran. Not a runaway. Two, I don't play my guitar in a Yakuza club. In fact, today was the first time I touched my guitar in Japan. Three, I don't earn to pay for my siblings. They pay for themselves."

All the hosts looked at me curiously, except for the twins and, of course, Kyouya. "Umehara-san, you have siblings?" The rest asked in unison. I sighed. How may times was I going to repeat myself today. Way to spend the day before my birthday.

Luckily, as if Kyouya was reading my very exasperated thoughts, he interceded. "Umehara-san has two brothers and a sister."

I sighed in relief. He continued, pulling out a file on my private information, "Umehara Atsushi: seventeen, is a violin prodigy, likes death metal."

Hani's eyes widened in surprise, "Ne, Takashi, what's death metal?"

"..." was Mori-senpai's response.

"Um, Hani-senpai, you don't want to kn-" I started.

"Hani-senpai! Umehara-san can demonstrate!" Hikaru interrupted me. My jaw dropped and I let out an unnecessarily loud "EHH?!"

All the hosts then proceeded to give me a very awkward stare. I icily glared at Hikaru, who then hid behind Kaoru, mumbling some thing along the lines of me being like Kyouya in Japanese.

".....So, are you going to show us what death metal sounds like?" Tamaki asked weakly.

I exhaled resignedly, "Fine. I'm not going to do the....err... screaming though. Only the guitar parts."

The room was suddenly quiet as I plugged my guitar back into the amp, and turned the volume down. I took my pick and did part of "Raining Blood" by Slayers. After I finished, everyone was staring at me. I quietly put down my guitar, unplugged a couple things, and shuffled towards the kitchen.

"SUGOI!" they screamed, not unlike fangirls. I sweat dropped and bowed stiffly, bracing myself for the oncoming torrent of questions, "...Thank you."

"Where'd you learn guitar?" Tamaki asked.

"A book."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"How long have you been playing?"

"Three years."

"How long did it take you to master the guitar?"

"One hour."

"....Really?"

"Yes really. If you ask Kyouya, you'll see that music runs in my family. Or at least in my siblings."

The entire group then pivoted towards Kyouya, who read off of the file, "The Umehara siblings formed a quartet and a rock band called Ame no Koe in 2006, when siblings Atsushi, Shiroi, Fumio, and Riko were fourteen, thirteen, twelve and eleven respectively."

"EH? So young...." Haruhi gasped.

I grinned, "Not really. We matured quite quickly, in a way. And, there is a reason why my parents are called 'prodigy making machines.' I kind of dislike the name, but heck, I guess it suits them in a way..."

"....So, what are those boxes you brought?" I said as I walked around the boxes. They looked quite like the one my family sent – big, brown, and bulky – only a little smaller. By a foot or two.

"Well, we heard from Kyouya that your birthday was tomorrow so we brought presents! They're also a token of our gratitude for you helping us during club hours." Hani-senpai cheerily replied and Mori-senpai nodded.

"We had planned to deliver it together, but these lecherous doppelgangers-" Tamaki glared at the twins, who stuck their tongues out, "-but they apparently were already here."

"Hey, we were just returning a CD." Hikaru pouted.

Kaoru and I grimaced. It seemed as if we both knew that someone was going to ask what the CD was about and I immediately grabbed a jacket and ran to the door, "Well, um, I'll be going on a run so, yeah, buh-bye!"

"You're going on a run in jeans and a knit sweater? Americans seem weird..." Haruhi was surprised.

"That's xenophobic. Maybe a bit racist, but I can't really say." I indignantly retorted. And then I realized that it was kind of true, especially at the elementary school that I had went to. We would exercise two days a week, and half the time, no one bothered wearing athletic clothes on those days, resulting in prissies crying because the muddy track got their brand new Bratz sandals and their Hannah Montana T-shirts dirty.

"B-b-b-but you haven't opened our presents yet!" Tamaki cried. Hani-senpai nodded tearfully in agreement. I went "Awwwwww" and came back in. Hani-senpai was definitely going to be my designated host.

I put away my sweater and stared at the prettily wrapped package. I assumed that it was Haruhi's and carefully peeled off the tape. Inside I found I pile of recipes, confirming my assumption, a roll of coupons for the supermarket that I had shopped at today, and a little Tupperware container of Haruhi's home cooking. It was probably was going to by my midnight binge.

I glomped Haruhi and moved on to the biggest box. It was covered in lots of tape, so, in need of a box cutter, I grabbed a knife from the kitchen and cut open the box, much to the hosts' shock. Inside was a card, signed by the twins, and a LOT of Hitachiin brand clothes. By a lot, I meant at least twenty outfits. Even shoes. It was as if my deepest, girly, and unfulfillable dream had come true! I had thought about glomping the twins, but I decided against it since it would be VERY awkward, and eventually opened all of the boxes.

Tamaki's present to me an entire collection of Vocaloid action figures, the entire five seasons of that weird show that he watched, and a massive pile of books on Japanese. Luckily, they were the exact same books that I had borrowed from the library.

Kyouya had bought me night contacts, since he probably knew everything about me including the curvature of my eyes and the extent of my astigmatism, an electron microscope, a few research books on the human body, and a few brochures for the Ootori resorts.

Hani had given me a fluffy blanket, an even fluffier blanket, a dozen or so plushies, and a few boxes of candy.

Mori's gift was a tatami mat, a few kitchen accessories, a tea set, a katana, a very shiny and menacing set of knives, and a large cutting board.

At the last minute, Renge pushed her box toward me, which was filled with otome games, a PS2, a couple wigs, colored contacts, a few cosplay outfits, the most up to date manga volumes of Vampire Knight, a billion DVDs, a DVD player, and a manga drawing kit.

I felt like a little kid during Christmas and couldn't help but wonder if the money that they spent on my gifts was only pocket change.

"OH. MY. GOSH. THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR GIFTS! I'll perform once a week at the host club from now on as a way to return my thanks!"

It was probably my mind playing tricks on me, but it seemed as if Kyouya's glasses glinted in an ominous manner, complemented by an evil grin.

"Well, then, we look forward to working with you." Tamaki smiled dazzlingly. The rest of the hosts nodded in agreement.

"Same here." I smiled back.

"Well, it's getting late now, and I'm sleepy so I'm going to leave. Bye, Shi-chan...." Hani dozed off on Mori-senpai's shoulder and the two left my dorm. The rest of the hosts followed suit.

I was quite hungry after all of that excitement and opened Haruhi's home made dinner. I studied it for a while, admiring how traditional it looked before it would be destroyed by my molars. It was Japanese beef curry on udon. Luckily, Haruhi had considered my insane appetite so she had made enough to feed her two-person family, which I had learned when I went to the supermarket with her.

Renge looked at me jealously while I ate. It was kind of disturbing how she liked Haruhi and completely believed that Haruhi was a guy. I mean, was it really that hard to tell? The brunette had huge, pretty eyes, was good at cooking, and was kind of small for a guy.

It was a really delicious meal, probably better than my cooking, and I made a note to myself that I would study her recipes like crazy. I then got up and did the dishes, took a very long shower, put on my night contacts and dumped all of my plushies on my bed and read the medical research books that Kyouya had given me and eventually fell asleep, probably because I had a long day.

* * *

**September 6th, 8:43 am, Ouran Dorm Complex #4, Room 404...**

"RENGEEEEE!" I screamed from the bathroom.

"What? Did something happen?" She looked in urgently.

"Um no. Can you help my put do my hair like Hatsune Miku's?"

Renge squealed. She loved styling my hair and loved cosplaying even more. I was thankful that I had woken up early enough to get dressed and eat a proper breakfast. I was turning sixteen today. I didn't exactly plan for a massive Sweet Sixteen party, like what Tsuki, Shiori, and Kelly had been doing this year, but as long as I ate lots of good food, I was set.

"Shiroi! Look in the mirror!" Renge looked very pleased. I spun the office chair that I had brought into the bathroom toward the mirror and gasped. It was perfect. It kind of made me look younger, but I was pleased. I looked quite like Hatsune Miku as Black Rock Shooter. I grabbed my messenger bag, and violin case, along with the pile of books that I was going to return and happily walked out my dorm, humming "Melt" by Supercell.

It was a nice cloudy day, though it would have been better if if was raining.

I opened the door to my orchestra room and everyone shouted, "Happy Birthday!"

Tamaki.

At this rate, it was probably going to spread through the entire school. Back at my high school, a billion people would give me balloons on my birthday, not because they liked me, but because they wanted to maintain a good impression – which they kind of failed at since they were the kids who picked on me when I little - or because I was friends with the ever-so-popular-and-athletic friends, Tsuki and Kelly.

Worse was that my ..... err... fanboys were going to bother me. Thus, I was going to hang out with the hosts. Hopefully I wouldn't be attacked by them or forced to do stuff.

My first period passed quickly; nothing much happened. Just a new song to memorize, and me demonstrating double stops. I kinda wished that Atsushi was here, but he was most likely at home, lazing his butt off.

Second period was more interesting. The students took a test that I helped the teacher write, and there was ten minutes of free time left. Which I spent talking to the twins and Haruhi.

"Hey, can I hang out with you guys during brunch? I'm coming over to the club today too."

Haruhi raised her eyebrows, "Sure. Why?"

"......My fanboys."

"_Oh_." the three chimed knowingly. They knew _exactly_ what I was talking about. Fanboys and fangirls were pretty much the same, only in different genders.

"Yes!" I was guaranteed safety for the fifteen minutes of break. At lunch, I was training my team members in physics and archery so we'd be prepared to face off against other schools in our district.

And then I remembered. I needed at least fifteen members in the archery club. We had fourteen.

My face probably paled so Haruhi worriedly asked, "Umehara-san, what's wrong?"

"AHH! I forgot that I need at least fifteen members in the archery club to participate in the school competitions! And it's coming up next week!"

"Oh. Do you have the list of people that tried out yesterday?" Hikaru frowned.

"Yeah. OH..." I should have thought of something like that! I immediately found the list, which I had highlighted in different colors and found the list. The person who had almost made the shot was some Nakahara Shizumu person.

"Um, I needa find this person." I pointed at his name. The twins stared at the name incredulously.

"NAKAHARA SHIZUMU? Are you serious? The senior who won every single archery competition in Japan?" they gasped in unison.

"Um. Apparently so." I never knew that his name had such weight. It must have been embarrassing when he didn't even split the arrow that I had shot. It was even bamboo, to make things easier! The bell rang.

"Does Hani-senpai and Mori-senpai hang out with you guys?"

"Of course!" Hikaru looked at me as if I were a kid. I glared back.

"Ok. I'm hanging out with you guys anyways so might as well ask them."

The four of us walked into the club room and Hani-senpai instantly glomped me.

"Shii-chaaan!" he squealed.

"Ne, Hani-senpai, do you know where I can find Nakahara Shizumu? I need him for my archery club."

"Shizumu? He's probably in the library. And, ano, he doesn't talk to anyone at all." Hani-senpai looked sad. Mori nodded in silent agreement.

"Oh, ok. I'll head there immediately. I'm coming to the club today." I called over my shoulder.

Tamaki's eyes lit up, "Are you going to play for us?"

"Nah, I'm a customer. It's my birthday, remember?"

I sprinted as fast as I could down the hallway in my stupid shoes and looked for Nakahara-senpai. I returned my books first, and found him, standing in front of the sports magazines.

"Um, Nakahara-senpai." I meekly poked him. He spun around immediately looking irritated. He had pretty decent looks, and was pretty muscular, but definitely not my type because of his response, "What do you want, Yankee?"

"Yankee? _YANKEE_? Who are you calling a Yankee, eh, **$!#%***?" I glared at him mercilessly. Why were there so many people with preconceptions about Americans? I, in return, called him a name that was very inappropriate and not very well known in Japan.

"You, of course, Yankee." He looked back at his magazine.

"Well, fine with me. Keep on calling me that. I'm going to go and find someone else to be the vice captain of the archery club....**$!#%***." With a flip of my hair, I started towards the door.

Nakahara-senpai spun around, eyes wide in shock, "Wait, what?"

I pouted indignantly and repeated, "If you're going to call me a Yankee, o' burly xenophobe, then you're not going to be the vice captain of the archery club and Ouran won't be able to compete in the district competition."

Nakahara-senpai seemed to take the news badly, because he looked as if he was going to cry. Really, was he that power hungry? Or were my "negotiation" skills just that great? Probably the former.

"S-s-s-sorry for calling you a Yankee," he said tearfully. I would've looked at him funnily, but I didn't want him to actually cry in front of me. Nevertheless, this was quite amusing.

"I accept your apology. Remember to come to the archery dojo at lunch." I then continued walking to the door and, much to my annoyance, Nakahara-senpai followed me doggedly.

"Lunch, idiot, not brunch." I glowered at him. A look of realization dawned upon his puerile face. Seriously, how can a guy like this be able to win competitions in archery? I face palmed and continued to the door.

"Wait, Umehara-san!" he called. I icily looked back. Nakahara-senpai seemed to regret asking.

"**What...do you want..from...me?**" I hissed, eyes narrowed in anger.

"Um....if you aren't a Yankee, then where did you come from? Europe?"

"..........." Was this guy seriously mentally disabled? I sighed in the most exasperated manner possible, flipped the guy off, and walked back to the club room.

The first thing I did when I pushed open the doors was face plant on the nearest table. I was so going to look forward to working with a dunce of a human being. His stupidity actually made me have doubts about hiring him as VP of the archery club.

"Shi-chaan! Are you ok?" Hani-senpai's face came into view. From under the glass table.

I slowly got up and explained the entire shebang to Hani-senpai, who then, in turn replied, "Oh! So Shizumu isn't mute! I guess he's just afraid of speaking since he acts so....hmm... Takashi, what was that word again?"

"Retarded." Mori-senpai answered. Hani-senpai then proceeded to nod cheerily and hopped around the room like a bunny. I nearly snorted my tea and began to laugh, along with the rest of the hosts. That made my day. The bell rang, and the rest of my classes passed boringly.

Then came lunch, which consisted of me winning a food eating contest amongst my team mates, teaching a brief lesson on the Coriolis effect, and shooting some arrows. We were in prime condition for the competition, since Nakahara-senpai was actually really good at archery.

The rest of my day was equally monotonous, maybe a bit educational, but still really damn boring.

I finally drudged my tired self to the host club and sat down at Kyouya's table. The only guys that were ok with me calling them by their first names were the hosts, excluding the seniors. They were fine with me calling them by their given names, but it seemed awkward.

All I did the entire time was sleep, much to my satisfaction. It was quite an achievement, considering how light of a sleeper I was before I hit stage two sleep.

However, I was really irritated when the twins decided to pour water on me. Very irritated. So irritated that I grabbed the first one I felt and slammed their face against a chair. Much to my surprise, it was Tamaki who I attacked so I grimly apologized to Tamaki and slowly turned my head towards the twins, with my long tresses dripping wet and armed with the evilest glare that I could manage feeling half dead.

It worked, because the twins ran off, screaming, "KAPPA!"

I sighed and headed towards the bathroom in hopes of cleaning up my hair. I had brought a spare change of clothes in cases of emergencies, like this one, and changed into it. The bathroom had some electric hand dryers which blew out hot air, so I crouched under one and waited for my hair to dry.

It probably looked ridiculous, especially in my newly acquired Hitachiin brand clothes, but it worked. I groggily got up and pushed open the door, and found the twins standing there, looking remorseful.

"Sorry for what we did." They said in unison.

"Apology accepted." I yawned and looked out a nearby window. Yes! It was raining! Realization dawned upon me and I vocalized what was going through my mind that moment.

"CRAP. I DIDN'T BRING AN UMBRELLA."

Kaoru looked up and seemed pleased with what he saw. "Hey, you're wearing the one of the outfits that we gave you! It fits you."

"Um...thanks."

"You can hitch a ride with us. We can't possibly let you ruin those clothes in the rain! They're worth at least 20,000 Yen." Hikaru added.

"Oh! Thanks! It's only a one minute walk from here to my dorm, though..."

The twins led me out of the school and to their limo and we drove to my dorm, which was like ten seconds away by car. I thanked them for their generosity and ran through the building to my room.

I had received a few packages this morning and I opened them. One was from Tsuki, and she gave me a billion posters of UVERworld and NEWS as well as their latest CDs. Shiori gave me assorted key chains, posters, and action figures of anime characters. Kelly gave me a massive cookbook, a few shorts, and an archery bow care kit.

I was really hungry by now so I cooked up whatever leftover produce I had into a stew and ate it. I was content now so I grabbed a bag of chips, sprawled on my bed, and did my homework while listening to music.

A few minutes after I finished my homework, someone knocked on the door. I opened it and the hosts yelled, "SURPRISE!" Hani-senpai was holding a massive cake, with the help of Mori-senpai and the rest of the hosts had brought food as well. Traditional Japanese food too. The kind that I missed. I must have been looking at the food hungrily so Tamaki quickly said, "Let's eat the food now! Haruhi made it. I'm so proud of my daughter!"

He fawned over Haruhi and I led them to the kitchen. It was around 5 pm, so I set an alarm to remind me that I was supposed to Skype my friends and co. back in California. There was a_ lot_ of food. And all of it was _REALLY_ good.

"Haruhi, you're a genius. This food... is... _amazing_." I gasped.

She smiled, "My mother taught me, and her food was much better than mine..."

The hosts and I spent then entire hour talking about the local schools, teachers, and about themselves. It was actually quite interesting to know that they didn't know much about America, much less about California.

My alarm went off and I sprinted to my laptop. "Hey guys, stay in the kitchen, I'm going to Skype my friends."

I started a voice conference with my friends, and apparently it was 11 am there.

"Ha, did you guys just wake up?"

"Ugh, yes." Tsuki was probably groaning. On weekends she woke up at one.

"Nope. I woke up at seven to jog to the archery range." Kelly's cheery voice drifted through my laptop's speakers.

"Crazy lady. The archery range is like three miles away from your house! And your bow weighs at least one pound or so!" I gasped.

"There's a reason why I'm in cross country." She bragged.

"Don't care." Shiori finally woke up. Her laptop was probably in the kitchen since the sound of cereal being poured into a bowl could be heard as well as the slamming of a refrigerator door.

I smirked. Shiori was quite like me when she woke up – apathetic, and half-dead. "Dude, get yourself an energy drink. Or take a run."

"HELL. NO." Unlike me, Tsuki, and Kelly, Shiori had terrible endurance and was horrid at sports, despite her thin and lithe stature. The only things that kept her P.E. grade up were the projects and tests that required no physical ability at all.

Tsuki sighed, "Really, there isn't that many bad points to exercise. Take a short run-"

"Defffne schwrot." Shiori was probably talking with a mouth full of cereal. Which was mildly disturbing.

"Ich verstehe kein Deutsch." Kelly giggled. This was the first thing that she learned in German class, ironically.

"...Ditto." The three of us laughed. We all took different foreign languages at school as a requirement this year. I took Japanese, but they were only talking about the absolute basics – like the alphabet and and different writing systems - during the first week of school, which I already knew. Tsuki took French and Shiori took Italian.

We continued on, ranting about random conversations until Shiori sighed, "Well, I have to go to lunch. Talk to you later."

That ended the voice conference so I called my house. It was almost the same as last time's call, except more about my adventures to the supermarket and food. Everyone wished me a happy birthday and they hung up.

I walked back to the hosts. They were still chatting about stuff, though it was incoherent since they were talking in Japanese, which I still sucked at. I poked my head in the room and waved at them.

"Ah! Shi-chan, you're back!" Hani-senpai squealed. I nodded and sat down at the table.

"So...what do we do now?" I drawled. I was really sleepy now.

"It's kind of late, so I think I'll go home. I have a curfew so, bye!" Tamaki got up, and the rest of the hosts murmured and followed suit. I was quite amused.

It seemed that all the hosts were drowsy and were like minions to Tamaki during nighttime.

I took a very long bath and contemplated on my day. It was pretty good. Actually, VERY good because of the food.

Things seemed to be going my way.

* * *

_~PREVIEW: One strenuous week of training later, and it's the archery competition! And... ATSUSHI? Wait.. what dance? Preparations? Concert? AGH!~_

_~Merry Christmas :] ~_

_Hoped you enjoyed this..... late chapter. xD_

_(Expect another fanfiction release soon~)_

**--Koori-chan.**


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